By Juliet Nwite
Nothing of value comes easily. And to educate a child is not easy – financially, economically, and in the amount of time and other resources put into it.
The resources parents spend on raising a child cannot be quantified. But there is always joy in it.
“As a woman before, you become a mother, you must be well prepared, informed and equipped for the journey of motherhood,” said Stella Onyeji, who has four children.
For starters
A mother educates a child first at home by teaching him or her personal hygiene, manners, respect, and good citizenship. When time for formal education sets in, she makes time to help with school work.
Raising a child is stressful and at the same time joyful, you just have to make out time for your children, not leaving everything for the teacher.
Onyeji advised working mothers to put their three month-old babies in a day care that is well equipped and, at home, to make up for the time missed with the child while at work.
“With you as a mother, your husband, and with God’s help, the child will make it in life,” she added.
“No matter how busy you claim to be, you must have time with your children, spend time and communicate with your children; it makes them to be bold, have confident in themselves and not to have inferiority complex.”
The stress
Adeyabe, who has worked as a day care teacher for 16 years, explained that “it is not difficult for a teacher to take care of a baby, if you can just treat them as your own child.”
According to her, it is good to start educating a child at an early age although it is stressful for the child, the mother and the teacher.
“It is stressful for the child because he or she needs the mother at a young age, especially in the rainy session when the weather is cold and children are vulnerable to airborne diseases,” she said.
“It can be stressful for the teacher who takes care of more than two children in the school, and it can be stressful for the mother because she has to take care of the child and at the same time go to work.
However, at the end of the stress comes the joy of educating the child. Mothers should have time for their children because their brains are like computer; being away from them without teaching them morals will make them useless later in life.
The joy of educating children is that at the end they will come out in flying colours in their academics, they will excel at work, and become successful and responsible both to parents and society.
Moral education
Muslimat Ayodeji said raising a child is expensive, time-consuming, stressful but it is worth the effort.
She has three children who cost her thousands of naira as school fees.
Raising a child is not all about sending him or her to school; it includes educating the child morally on how to be a good citizen, to show respect to elders and peers, and to be independent when grown up.
The spiritual life of a child matters a lot. And a woman has a lot of work to do, taking care of the family and going to work, being the first to wake up in the morning and the last to go to bed at night.
Ayodeji said the work of raising the child and caring for the family is mostly left for the woman because “most men don’t help their wives out in taking care of the children or doing house chores.”
Private education
Victoria Abiodun, who has two children, counselled that sending a child to a good and private school is to help them socialise with good students with good home training.
Her words: “I decided to enrol my children in private school because I want the best for them. Most children in public school behave in a way I don’t want my children to grow up with.
“It is better to send a child to a school where he or she will get the best academically. The cost is a bit too much but it is worth paying for the benefit of the child.
“Sending my children to private school is also for their academic performance, because the teachers have one-on-one interaction with the children and my daughter performs well when she is not in a class filled with a lot of children.”
“When I gave birth to my first daughter, I didn’t have anybody to stay with me. My husband is not the type that likes external people in the house, so I was alone all though the period. I stayed days without sleeping due to the crying of my baby.”
Abiodun recalled that when she was single she had more time for herself but after she gave birth she did not have time even for makeup, professional examinations and private time.
All the stress she passed through, she explained, is to make her children independent, leave a good life and take care of themselves in old age.
“Education is an investment and it is also their right to be educated. You give them quality education for them to stand on their own feet when they grow up so that they won’t come back to their parents for support.”
God’s help
Peace Ifeanyichukwu said being a parent is not all that easy, but with God’s help one can do a good job. “Raising the child is a work you must do, it’s not what you can say you will not do.”
Olayinka Ladituo, married for more than 30 years, said some of her children attended the University of Lagos (UNILAG), but because of strikes she sent the rest to private university to bring out the best in them.
“Bringing up children is not easy. We set a plan on how to meet their needs, we had a budget on education, and other necessary things needed by the children,” she narrated.
Her husband helped in bringing up the children, in doing housework, and in taking the children to school.
“My husband is the best man, he is a type of man any woman will pray to have. We are Yoruba, where the culture is that the man is the head of the family.
“But my husband, even as the head of the family, helped me in raising the children in all areas.”
Discipline is what every parent should put in their children, and when parents are not disciplined, their children will not be raised morally or be disciplined.
“You as a parent must be disciplined, because you are the person the children will mirror, you can’t give what you don’t have.
“Even now, people ask my children who their parents are, they thank me for how I raised my children, because now they are all doing well in their places of work because of the kind of training I gave them,” Ladituo said.
She advised every woman to obey her husband, submit to him, and show he is the head of the family, so as to train their children in the way of God.
“Women should not be carried away by the lifestyle of white people, because we are not white but Africans. Give your husband respect, submit to him and he will also give you the respect you deserve as a woman.”
Reward
Grace Anu, married for 30 years, said even though she only went to primary school, she made sure her seven children are all graduates.
“I only did primary school, but my husband loved education, so we trained our children. Raising and sending your children to school is not easy, but God saw us through in taking care of them.”
She stressed that teaching children in the way of God is the best thing you can do to them, and when you do that your children will grow up the way you want.
“My first experience as a mother was not easy; there comes a time when you have to stay awake at night because the child is crying, but with time I got used to it.”
Anu said the joy of educating and raising children well is that in your old age they will take good care of you.
“Now I am reaping the reward of my hard work, my children now take care of me, they invite me to their homes abroad, and take good care of me, which was why I made sure I trained them well.
“Mothers should always have time for their children, raise them in the way of God, so that in times of challenges they too can stand and have faith in God.”
