Tems added that toxic relationships can be incredibly draining, noting that partners are often unaware that they possess such damaging character traits.
By Kehinde Okeowo
Afrobeats singer, songwriter and record producer Temilade Openiyi, better known as Tems, has shared her experience of a toxic relationship with an “obsessive and possessive” partner.
The ‘Me & U’ singer opened up about her ordeal during a candid interview with media personality Angie Martinez.
According to the artist, the relationship contradicted her personal beliefs; she emphasised that she feels a healthy relationship is built on partnership, not ownership.
She added that toxic relationships can be incredibly draining, noting that partners are often unaware that they possess such damaging character traits.
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Speaking on the show, Tems said: “I have experienced love where I thought it was love, but it was more like when someone is trying to own you. They think that they own you. And that’s not love.
“Love is not obsession. And it is not possession. I can’t own another human being. Love is when both of you become one person.
“We don’t own each other; we are each other. I feel everyone has experienced toxic love with someone who doesn’t even know that they are toxic. They say they love you, but they don’t know that they don’t even love you—because you can’t love someone you feel you own.”
Earlier in the interview, the 30-year-old singer made it clear that her future husband must be “God-fearing”.
Sharing further insights, she noted: “My partner has to be a God-fearing man. Because why would you truly love me if you don’t have anyone that you answer to? If you’re not accountable to anyone, how could you choose to love and keep loving me for the rest of our lives?”
