“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Heb 13:4).
When you said your vows, you promised to love, honour and cherish each other in the presence of God and man. However, did you really understand the meaning of those words? And do you (still) strive to apply them to your daily living with your spouse?
Let us examine the word “honour”. This is a strong word. It is filled with meanings. Honour means to hold in high esteem, consideration, manifestation of respect and reverence. It is the fuel that runs a successful marriage. If every couple kept these definitions in mind, and actively used them in their homes, our relationships will be happier and for those of us currently enjoying blissful unions, it will be better, because there is always room for improvement.
Rewind a few years back and try to recall when you and your spouse first met and you were very careful to make a good impression with one another. You chose your words carefully (sometimes even practised privately) and delivered nice compliments and sweet words. You were willing to defend your spouse anywhere, anytime and would see no evil in your spouse. You were eager to spend every free moment with one another, and when apart would think of each other and would not stop talking about one another. Her laughter was just so cute; and his ears made him more handsome!
Then when you both could no longer handle the torture of being apart, you both took a decision to spend the rest of your lives together and got married. Once married, the relationship changes almost immediately. You no longer put an effort in framing your words or delivery, and sometimes may use the effort in delivering negative thoughts and opinions to ensure maximum impact! You both began to seek ways to spend time apart. One or both parties look forward to being away from one another.
How ironic! Unfortunately, the society seeks to help this state of affairs in the home by providing reasons like work, church activities, social and family engagements as viable excuses to drive couples apart.
There will always be a reason to stay away from one another (if you need one). You must make an effort to spend as much time together as possible with one another. Find below a guide:
* Be nice to one another.
* Pay a compliment; there must be something good about your spouse.
* Schedule your workload and maximise your time. Do not use work as an excuse to stay away from your spouse. When the work is gone (which will happen someday), it’s your home that will remain and you will get only what you invest.
* Choose the church activities you can attend or be involved in (there are lots of activities anyway) that will not take you away from home. You can’t possibly attend all. Remember, your home is your first ministry.
* Schedule time together (date nights) and stick to it. Not keeping a date night with your spouse is about the one big thing that can do more damage than not having one at all.
* Celebrate your “honeymoon” at least once a year. You may use your anniversary day. It will be a time of refreshing and reminding each other the very reason you got married in the first instance. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound’s cure”. This truth applies not only to health, but also to the state of one’s relationship.
Your marriage will be worth every effort you can invest in committing to it. May your union thrive!
