Dear Tinu,
I need your counsel please before I do something drastic.
I am 28 years of age and a personal assistant (P.A.) to a managing director (M.D.) of a blue chip company. I love my job and I do it with all my heart, strength and best of my ability.
However, recently my boss has started making passes at me. It started with brushing his hands on mine while I serve him his morning coffee, which looked like an accident at the time. Subsequently, he has squeezed my arm, pinched my backside and come outright to demand that I go on a date with him.
I am definitely not that type of girl and would love to expose him, but my work is a one-man business and, really, who will believe me? I don’t want to lose this job because it really pays well, in addition to the fact that I am the one helping to put my younger one through school. My parents are retired.
Please advise.
Ngozi
Dear Ngozi,
I applaud you for your morals and your determination not to succumb to the pressure from your job. I wish I could tell you to go report your boss, but that will be wasting your time. Unfortunately, sexual harassment is hard to prove by a lady, especially if you are a good-looking one. Society and the law officers will have already judged you guilty!
The options available to you are very few, if you want to keep your morals. Get another job. Start looking for one while you are in this job. It’s easier to get a new job when you are in one.
As you are a P.A., you also have to be very careful with your boss in order not to be raped. I suspect he is not a man used to hearing no and would want to get his way at all costs. You have to keep saying no, loud and clear.
Get your resume (CV) out quickly. There are other places you can work. There are decent workplaces. I will suggest you look for a multinational this time around. Not because you will not come across people like your current boss, but because there may be avenues for redress in bigger companies.
While you may be under serious pressure to support your parents with your siblings, never forget that you have your own life to live and they have theirs. Don’t do anything drastic that you will regret and don’t give in to your boss, no matter the pressure. Right now, you are just a challenge to him.
Good luck with your job search.
