“You are a wonderful daughter.” Just the kind of words I needed to hear on New Year’s day. They came from the mother of Ekero, another high school best friend. My New Year had already experienced some turbulence by the time the heat-warming call came from Nigeria. It is like God put the words into Ekero’s mother —- one of my two surrogate mothers during my high school years in Warri..
Ekero had told me she would be visiting her mother during the holidays and she would call me so her mother and I could finally talk by phone. I was really looking forward to that and had called them earlier but did not get through.
Ekero calls me regularly from Nigeria and I wanted to surprise her by being the first to call her in the New Year. I also wanted to be the first to call Bridget, another high school friend and fellow Guardian alum, who also calls regularly from Nigeria to check on me. She has the same Multiple Myeloma diagnosis as I do, yet she makes the time and effort to call me regularly. When I marvel at her kindness she reminds me she is four years into battling the disease and further along into recovery.
As I was saying about the “wonderful daughter “compliment that made my New Year. When Ekero’s mother came on the phone she sounded as warm and loving as I remembered her. Her voice was strong too. It was like she had not aged in more than 30 years in spite of having been a caregiver for many years to her husband who died recently. Her husband was also like a father to me. I thanked her for receiving me into her home. I told her I appreciate the time I spent with her family even more when I look back. I spent some short school holidays with Ekero and her family in Warri when I was not with the Iyamabos in Benin.
When I told her Ekero has been a wonderful friend all through the years, she said, “ don’t call her your friend. You are sisters. You have been a wonderful sister to her.” Then she launched into the comment Ekero and I usually chuckle about. Ekero usually tells me: My mother still asks after you, saying the same thing, “ How is Ngozi your friend, the one who brought you to Lagos and found you a job.” It is like we would not hear the last of it. She might as well add., “and you found a husband too.” Ekero and her husband courted in Lagos while she was living with us in the 1004 apartments,, but I think they met earlier. Ekero must have been saying to herself as her mother launched into the magic words: Now you can hear for yourself what I have been hearing for the past how many years. Mama Ekero, my dearly-beloved Warri mother, went on to say that Ekero opened the door to Lagos for her siblings — and all thanks to me.
I never really thought of my role in helping Ekero in her life’s journey as a big deal. Yes, I did compel her to come join me in Lagos when I visited her in Warri (or Benin). “What are you doing here,” I must have said.” Join me in Lagos.” I was thrilled to be living in Lagos and wanted her to have the same delightful experience. When she arrived in Lagos, I introduced her to many people in my circuit and one of them was May Nzeribe who helped open the door to what seemed to me then like a little job (compared with mine which was working for a newspaper and traveling the world). But Ekero made the best of it and rose steadily through the ranks, earning good enough income for her and husband to afford holidays in America with their children. She called me once to say they were at Disney world. She said she was still at the same job I had helped her get almost 15 years prior. By then I had slugged through many humbling lowly but life-enriching American jobs.
Ekero’s mother prayed for me with fervour. She decreed and declared many blessings upon me. reminding me of similar prayers from my other surrogate mother.
I am still looking forward to having my New Year talk with —-my other surrogate mother, Elizabeth’s mother.who gave me Psalm 91 as my anchoring Bible chapter. Elizabeth, as everybody knows is my official best friend from Warri. When I last spoke with Elizaeth’s mother recently, she asked me what colour do I want for the winter hat she is knitting for me. She sent a red and white muffler already. Earlier she sent me a bag of toiletries and a make up bag. When I put on the lipstick she sent me I feel magically transformed — no sickness, no pain.
I thank God for all my mothers. I thank you for all your love and encouragement through the years. May 2015 be the most wonderful ever for all of you.
