By Tina Kanu
Marriage is a successful coming together of a man and a woman in a holy wedlock. Marriage is good and not evil. It is meant to bring God’s blessing to you.
Marriage is also meant to help the man and the woman. Everything one needs for a successful marriage has been provided in the Word of God, the Initiator of marriage.
Marriage can make or mar well-being and, if it is got wrong, can also make a mess of someone’s entire life.
God in His Omniscience knows who each one of us should marry from the very day He made you and me. God knows the end of all things from the beginning.
Yet He leaves us with choosing our spouse, expecting us to make His choice our own choice as well.
God expects us to make our choices and decisions within the context of The Bible. He has definite ideas and principles on marriage, and you as His child must abide by His rules.
God’s principles are tools to help you make the right choice of spouse and how to live together and enjoy the benefits of marriage.
The most crucial decision in life is whether to marry or not. Making up your mind on who to marry is extremely important because who you marry will determine to a large extent the kind of life you live and the purpose you fulfil.
God cares about who you marry and how you build your marriage.
Dating proceeds marriage and what you achieve during or with the dating period determines whether or not you are suitable for each other.
You as a child of God must consider God’s desire for you. Second Corinthians 6:14 tells of the kind of spouse God wants for you.
As a believer, God does not want you to marry an unbeliever. God expects you to marry a true believer because light and darkness have nothing in common.
Someone single may say, let me date anyone now and get married to the right person when the time comes. But it does not always work out that way.
Date someone you know you will be proud to marry, and the only sure way is to not date a non-Christian.
Always follow the standards that God has set for us all. Anyone meant for you will date you on God’s principles and not on worldly principles.
You must date and marry only someone who has the strength of character needed to do what is right even when it is not his or her choice.
Those who rebel against God’s principles and rules rebel against God Himself. Therefore, a child of God should seek God’s will in all that he or she does, especially in choosing a spouse.
Ephesians 5:17 says we must not be unwise by not understanding what is God’s will for us.
When you fall in love, it becomes difficult to think straight. It is always better to pray and seek God’s leading before love begins because when you are already in love, your mind plays tricks on you.
Statistics show that people usually fall in love with those they date. Therefore, ask God in prayer who you date from the very start. This will help keep you on the right path and help you make wise a choice.
Someone may ask, what kind of person should one look for as a spouse? Tall, dark, beautiful, handsome and rich: all these are good but not good enough in a marriage partner.
These elements will be short-lived because not all dark, handsome, beautiful and tall singles are suitable for marriage.
People take marriage decision lightly but it can make or break your life.
With all the vision and goals you have, if you marry the wrong person, everything can be derailed. So be serious with this decision. Your dream man or woman must be someone you can spend the rest of your life with.
He/she will be there at your best moments and at your worst. There will be days when he/she will not be the spouse of your dream; at such a moment, complexion or good looks will not matter.
At such a time, you will realise that marriage is not about naira and kobo, that it is beyond gold and silver. So, don’t marry because he/she comes from a rich family.
Look beyond outward appearance and consider the hidden man of the heart as The Bible counsels in 1 Peter 3:4. Seek the bone of your bones, someone who can accommodate the vision God puts in your heart.
Instead of looking for perishable qualities, seek a man or woman who fears the Lord. Don’t be misled by worldly things.
Have a sense of who you are, look for a man or woman who is responsible and right thinking, who has a vision and goals as you.
There are many out there who may seem like it but may end up not being what you want, so hold on to God tightly to guide you in making this crucial decision.
Look them over carefully and ask all the right questions. It is better to ask now than to regret not asking in years to come.
Test his/her character, commitment, and test his/her love for you. Don’t marry a man or woman with a character you can’t tolerate. If there is any negative thing in him/her, sort it out before marriage.
Don’t make marriage choice based on emotion, evaluate the total picture properly, analyse your relationship and its future with the individual.
Some rush into marriage with the confidence that they will face head-on whatever problems that confront them in the future.
God is able to make all grace abound for us all but He wants you to move according to His time and plan for you.
Find out if your proposed spouse has genuine intentions before going into marriage with him/her. If you don’t, you will regret the choice.
Marriage is a very serious business, therefore rely on God and the Holy Spirit and not on your parents and friends. Don’t go into marriage because your parents want you to marry or because you are of age.
This can ruin your future.
Don’t marry out of sympathy. Don’t marry someone because of their job or career. Money may bring you together, but it cannot keep the marriage.
The marriages of billionaires break up despite the riches.
Don’t marry because of sexual excitement; this also is not love. Even as a Christian, don’t marry someone because you attend the same church when you cannot attest to the person’s character.
Be aware of potential problems from the very beginning by knowing the person you intend to marry well enough. Know his/her background, temperament and spiritual status, not just that he/she is a Christian.
God wants you to fully manifest your potential, so look for a marriage partner who will help you fulfil God’s plan and purpose for you.
Shalom.
