Never knew the day will come when I would be pleading for chemo. But that day did come last week. Yes, I did resist chemo when I was first diagnosed with cancer, my objection to the orthodox cancer treatment being so strong that I preferred to take my chances with life rather than undergo chemotherapy.
Last week I suffered the kind of excruciating pain I don’t recall ever experiencing. It was in my tailbone. Throbbing painful sensations inside my tail bone — like small balloons were erupting inside my bones. I thought the cancer in my bone marrow must have gone haywire.
The pain started on Sunday and I tried to control it with the home remedies and pain medication. I was scheduled to see my oncologist the next day and I wanted to see him so he could approve my next round of chemo.
When I arrived at his clinic I told my mother to go in and tell them I was in pain and was struggling to get out of the car. They brought their wheel chair but I could not get out of the car because of the pain. The nurse came out and said I should head straight to the E.R (emergency room). I protested. I said I wanted to resume chemo the next day. I had been on my one week off chemo. I usually go on a 2 week chemo cycle and then they have me take a one week break.
The nurse said I was in no condition to sit and wait for my turn to see the oncologist and even if I did get to see him he would still order me to head to the E.R because there’s not much he can do for you at the clinic. So it was that I landed at the E.R again. The fourth time since I was discharged in February.
I was back there three times between March and April. I didn’t want to be seen as a frequent E.R visitor and I don’t like to be discharged in the middle of the night so I resolved not to go back there. One E.R nurse said to me: You need to have a conversation with God. So I did. I said: Lord, please don’t let me have a reason to have to go to the E.R again. I refused to go there after that even if Doctor S ordered me to. Sometimes when I called him to report that I felt like some heaviness on my chest, he would say, “ Call the ambulance and head to the E.R.” My medical bills are mounting and I want to do what I can to keep them under control.
Oh the pain I experience at the E.R. It is painful for me to change into the hospital gown, painful to get into the E.R bed and then be later transferred from the bed to a gurney so they can perform tests on me. I have to lie down flat for scans and MRIs. All very painful for me.
I marvel at the efficiency of the E.R staff but sometimes it seems to me like they go overboard in their testing and treatment. Once, when I came in and they suspected pneumonia and wanted to administer antibiotics intravenously. When I saw the I.V bags I wanted to get up and say: Sorry I came to bother you. Please let me leave. But I usually leave grateful they have done all they can to rule out dreaded medical conditions.
But when I do go into the E.R I have been known to plead not be discharged. After all the tests I am exhausted and in pain and then they say “ we’re done. Away with you.” But I am just settling in after surviving the tests. “Do you have $5000 to pay for a night?” Hospital staff member asked me. Then I wanted to say I would do anything to find $5000 if you will just let me stay overnight.
I don’t like to return home after an E.R visit and wake up everybody in the middle of the night. And then I have to struggle to get into my bed. I have gotten better at that since I tied a bedsheet at the foot of the bed and I use that to propel myself in and out of bed. My high school friends think I should market that.
Last week when I returned for the fourth E.R visit I was expecting to be sent home in the middle of the night, but they decided to keep me — for three days. When they offered me a choice to leave or be admitted, I was about to choose the first option when my friend, Floxy cut in and said: keep her. Others will suffer if you send her home and I wont even be in the house to help her.
So they kept me. And it was a good thing they did. Because they were able to perform all the tests needed to find out the cause of the pain and the state of the damage the cancer has wrought in my bones. The tests thankfully did not confirm my fears, so I concluded it was brought upon by stress and doing too much housework.
I call Floxy my E.R buddy. She makes surviving the E.R and the hospitalisations easier on me. Th E.R staff don’t have much patience because they have so many others to attend to, so her presence is always appreciated. She was supposed to be in New Jersey and that’s another reason I did not want to go the E.R. How would I survive without my E.R buddy? I had wondered. But I did call her and tell her I was at the E.R. But the time I emerged from the MRI room there she was. She said the next day was a public holiday so no teaching for her. She took my mother home and came back later with food and other items from home for me.
My friends in Hawaii told me that Nolan our friend got cured of cancer after 2 weeks at a natural healing clinic. When I called Nolan he said he did spend three weeks at the Gerson Holistic treatment center in Hawaii (PH: 808 933 4400), but was not cured in that time period. He said he had to continue with the healing regimens he had been taught at the center when he returned home. He said it actually took 19 months for him to be declared free of cancer.
Nolan also told me about the mystery couple from South Africa who showed up at his ranch and told him God had directed their path to his ranch. The husband half of the couple said he is a doctor who uses natural methods to heal cancer patients at his clinic in South Africa. He suggested Nolan check out the Gerson Holistic center.
Nolan and I also talked about the flaxseed and cottage cheese diet I had first read about on the CancerTutor.org website under the Budwig Protocol segment. My high school friend, Babs, who I also consult about natural therapies sent me among other things, a big bag of flaxseeds and a coffee grinder so I can grind the seeds and take them within 15 minutes of grinding —- after which they begin to lose their nutritional value. We also talked about sour sop leaves which is touted for its cancer cells killing effect.
How I long to return to the sunshine and beaches of Hawaii as severe Winter on the Mainland looms. My legs are already swelling again and my bones are stiffening up perhaps due to the lack of sufficient sunshine and exercise.
