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The big man syndrome

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Have you ever been stuck in traffic or drenched in spirit while trying to crawl along in a horrible traffic jam and you suddenly hear one of those silly-sounding sirens putting everyone on notice that one ‘big oga’ is around? Not that you would care a hoot what big gun is around the same traffic with you (after all, you can as well tell people that you are ‘privileged’ to drive on the same road with a big man), but that the siren is telling everyone to steer clear or ‘clear road for jaga-jaga’. Oops, it doesn’t seem as if I would ever get over those Fela-ish lines, does it? Okay, back to my discussion. How did it feel those times? Terrible, I bet.

 

That’s it. But that seems to be one of the things that define us as a people, sadly. We love to play the big man or madam, worship or kowtow to the big man and even fake to be one. And we are so loud about it too. It all looks so stupid to think that merely because of some privileged position a person holds, by election, appointment or even circumstance of birth, they therefore are superior to others and must be treated in a way that diminishes the humanity of others.

 

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Otherwise, why would the big man not remain quiet in line and flow with the rest of the society in traffic, knowing that the attempt to break the line and push through even leads to more commotion, distorts flow of traffic and creates feeling of anger and contempt from other road-users? What on earth is the big man rushing to? What matter of national importance and urgency is it that would warrant them to corrupt principles on the way to doing so? Well, unless someone else is about to steal their position before they get there, like it happens in the parliament. Truth is, more often than not, the big man just enjoys pummelling everyone else to satisfy his ego that he is more important than others.

 

I see the big man syndrome at play in many instances. It is so ingrained in a lot of us Nigerians, especially within Nigeria. I say so because many of these our so-called big men eat the humble pie when they are out of the country and submit themselves to the rules of civility elsewhere. At worst, they are humbled to submission in those climes, until they get back here.

 

I see big men walk into and out of meeting rooms without as much as carry their files because some staff have the specific responsibility to carry those before and after the man enters or leaves the meeting. They don’t even carry the speeches they are going to read. Sometimes they may even not carry their reading glasses. Some big women do not also carry their handbags. And I thought I heard it said that the handbag is an accessory to the dressing? Don’t even go there, our big men and women cannot carry or be allowed to carry the umbrella when they are out in the rain or sun. An aide has to do so, even if it means the aide therefore stays outside of the umbrella. That’s how we roll here.

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It is also not appropriate for the big man to line up to take his meal at buffet during a business meeting, not even to pick up his tea at such events. So their aides have to run around like ants to arrange all those for them. I am always bemused at such sights. The one I cannot fathom is the pastor who doesn’t carry his/her Bible while entering or exiting the church or pulpit, even when the Bible is the tool of their preaching.

 

I was therefore happily surprised during the week when I heard a ‘big man’ complain to one of his subordinates about the attitude of a driver of a director in their office who was disrespectful to a visitor to the office in the process of parking the official car of the director. He put the subordinate through a lecture about respect for human dignity and condemned the attitude of the driver whose only basis for the audacity was because he was ‘oga director’s driver’.

 

It’s funny to say that many of the people who carry on with a lot of air are but the boys of the boys of the big man. But our society condones it anyway, right from the cradle when parents orientate their children to feel superior to the domestic aides. So how do we change this? Let’s start with the person in the mirror. He/she is really the one to change the story out there in the society.

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