Dear Tinu,
I am a mother of four beautiful girls, all below the age of seven. I am also a full-time housewife, as my employer sacked me when I got pregnant quickly with our second child. By the time I resumed work after three months maternity leave, I was already pregnant with my second baby. So I am at home with four young children and my husband wants us to try for a fifth child because he thinks it might just be a boy.
I can hardly cope with these four that I have and the thought of another baby scares me; but I am unable to tell my husband, as he is convinced that the next baby is a boy.
He has asked me repeatedly if I have gone off my birth control pills and I said yes; but the truth is that I haven’t. I am really afraid to and don’t want another baby. I am happy with the girls God has given us. I am afraid he will soon find out that I have been lying to him. What do I do?
Mrs. G.
Dear Mrs. G,
As a mother of four young children, it is perfectly normal to have fears about adding another baby. However, it’s a discussion you need to have with your husband. It is evident that you are both on two different pages, and this will not move your family life forward in anyway.
You will have to come clean to your husband by letting him know your fears and the fact that you are yet to get off birth control. Lying to him will only worsen your situation.
You may let your hubby know that because you are not God, the baby could be another girl. Besides, you need to be emotionally prepared to have another baby, as getting pregnant is only the first step in bringing a child into the world.
Remember, both of you have to be in agreement. While you may want a baby now, I will suggest that you both reach a compromise, to ensure you are both happy with your decision. Depending on your age (which you did not mention), you may decide to try again after a few years – when the ones you have are grown a bit. Last but not the least, get a good gynaecologist to take a good look at you and your history, to ensure that you are medically fit for a fifth child. I wish you the very best.
