No telephone to heaven: Do gatekeepers have a direct line?
By Elsie-Bernadette Onubogu
In that piece, ‘Masquerading clichés, curiosity as comfort: time to rethink and retire the absurd’, I wrote about pain, grief with losing a loved one, and different ways we grieve. That narrative, remains a cautionary suggestion for all to rethink grief, and not to create controversy. After all, as the Igbos say, caution is not cowardice. The current discourse has a direct nexus to that piece, and it is also a caution for us to rethink how we sometimes (inadvertently) gatekeep heaven.
Recently, I was caught up with another nagging question. Where do we go after death? Can anyone on earth say with certainty where a loved one ended up? In reflecting on this question – a puzzle, a philosophy echoed through my mind, a saying I grew up with – one all too familiar, i.e., “No Telephone to Heaven.” Though I lived with this saying growing up, I did not sufficiently understand its meaning, its import, and or the lesson it sought to communicate. As I pondered to unravel it, I realized anyone who plays heaven’s gatekeeper might need a rethink.
The question arose not just out of curiosity, but more out of a burning desire to solve what remains an ‘unsolved puzzle’ – a mystery – that tends to create not just disagreement, discomfort, a dangerous level of ‘religious protectionism’, and an unintended show of superiority that could descend into arrogance – no pun intended. After all, for Christians, Saint Paul in his letter to the Romans, queried: “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor?” – cross referenced with Isaiah 40 verse 13 ‘Who has known the mind of God or been able to give him advice?’ Yes, the thinking ‘no telephone to heaven’ reverberated.
It is almost 42 years since God called him home. Yet, as I write, I can honestly say, time has not healed this wound. This is another reason most of these sayings are mere clichés and nothing more. A more soothing advice from the Greek Poet – Aescheyus, was shared by a dear friend – a Roman Catholic Priest – from whom I learn and draw inspiration daily, to wit: “Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” It is to God’s grace and mercy that I turn every day.
The saying, “No Telephone to Heaven” was an inscription on ‘mammy wagon buses’ in South Eastern Nigeria, owned by a very unassuming man – Sebastian. His buses served as “food supply” delivery baskets for the people.
By the time of his passing, I was either too young to probe correctly, or to better understand what that saying meant. Through recent events, it dawned on me, that, if indeed there was a telephone to heaven, I, like many would have placed an instant call to solve the puzzle – where do we go when we die, and more importantly, who makes it to heaven? Indeed, of my loved ones, who is in heaven?
This piece is about where we go after death. It is about who makes it to either of the ‘reserved places.’ It raises the question – which of the places a deceased person ends up in. Does s/he get a direct flight to heaven; a delayed flight through purgatory; or a monopolized direct GO to hell. It is about whether we can determine their whereabouts from a phone call. To me, it appears the determining factor is how the deceased lived their life prior to death. From the outset, let me say, this probe will draw heavily from the standpoint of one who believes in a higher ‘Power’. For me, that is God – the Creator, and this is non-negotiable.’
Despite my belief in the existence of God, it is crucial to state that, though born of the ‘Catholic’ faith, I believe in ecumenism, and the fact that “ALL” (despite ‘religious’ belief), are created by one infallible, merciful and loving God. After all, didn’t Saint Paul tell us in his letter to the Galatians, that, ‘there is neither Jew nor Greek… that we all are one.’ Yes, he mentioned Jesus Christ, but, let’s not forget that he was writing to Christians.
So, it does not matter whether you are of the Buddhist, Islamic, Anglican, Episcopal, Methodist, Catholic, Pentecostal, or traditionalist faith. And, I mean, traditionalism in the real sense of traditional religion and not the new devious machinations that has taken over much of the South Eastern part of Nigeria and elsewhere. Yes, it does not matter, as these – denominations are a human construct. This is not to diminish the divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ or equate the Messiah to a prophet. It is simply to say, so long as you have faith in a higher power – whatever name you choose to call that power is entirely your prerogative.
Hey, before you disagree, can you please tell me (with documentary evidence), what denomination or Church Abraham or Moses attended? And, it is not okay to say, they believed in God and stop there. I have not denied the existence of God. My query is, was Abraham, Moses, Rahab, David, etc., of the Catholic, Islamic or Pentecostal denomination? Can any Christian deny that Moses made it to God’s heaven? If not, then, I am of the view that, it is not only Christians that will make heaven. But, in fact, those who live by the simple requirements and tenets of God.
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From the history of ‘Christianity’ (2000 years+), we know that the people of old were not called Christians, but they believed in God. Hence, I agree with Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s thinking when he said, “God is not upset that Gandhi was not a Christian, because God is not a Christian! All of God’s children and their different faiths help us to realize the immensity of God.”
This is not an attack on Christianity or any other religious belief. It is an honest attempt to provoke us all to rethink our beliefs, faith, actions, and more importantly whether our living styles conform with the teachings of God in whatever name you refer that higher power. As the renowned ecumenist, a Benedictine Monk – Brother David Steindl-Rast (author of Gratefulness & the 99 Names of God – www.grateful.org) reminds us, ‘God stems from human history’s consequential discovery… smelted in the forge of mystical experience… it is not a name, but rather a reference to our relationship with the nameless; it is not a term for some creature, but rather points to the origin by which ALL creatures originally sprang from non-being into being…”
It is this mystery of God – un-resolved puzzle that ought to make anyone who feels like a heaven gatekeeper to think twice.
As I mulled deeper over recent events and the subtle show of ‘religious protectionism’, arrogance and dare I say ignorance that has overtaken humanity (particularly the Christian faith) with unsubstantiated claims to divine connection, I desperately wished there was a telephone to heaven via MTN, ECONET, AT&T, BT, VODAFONE, or a SIMPLE MOBILE – so, I could place a call to God and ask him for an instant answer to resolve the mystery.
Then, it dawned on me, that, to the man – Sebastian, that philosophy ‘No Telephone to Heaven,’ did not refer to a literal MTN phone. Rather, it was the man’s way of reaffirming the uncertainties and mysterious nature of God. It was his way to urge patience especially in uncertain times. As an Indian Catholic Priest in Vienna, Austria once told me, “mystery is discomforting to many of us because our world is obsessed with certainty.” In our bid to clear such uncertainty, we descend into the gallery of gatekeeping – yet, the mystery remains.
Years ago, a visiting Pentecostal Pastor at a church in Houston, narrated his encounter with God. Despite his efforts to serve God, his only child was diagnosed with multiple Sclerosis, while his wife fell to a spinal cord injury.
Through fasting and prayer, he asked God why? The answer he got was a lesson beyond shock. God simply said to him, “I am a mystery and not a puzzle.” If he were a puzzle, many humans (like kids cracking puzzles) would have lost interest in Him.
There is no gainsaying the fact that, we live in an era of ‘instants’ – where many of us feel every answer should be a click away – we operate with the microwave mentality. Thus, we have, Instacart, Voice-note, Doordash, WhatsApp, Instagram, telegram, etc. An age where artificial intelligence and the efforts of Amazon, etc., says, anything is one click away. No, the man with the philosophy ‘No Telephone to Heaven’ says otherwise – not in all cases. That man – Sebastian was my Dad. And, I can say with a level of certainty, that where our loved ones go, where they are, cannot be easily predicted – certainly not with a telephone click. Whether they took a direct flight to heaven, a delayed flight through purgatory or a getaway flight to hell remains a mystery. And, the truth is, no matter what anyone claims, God and His ways remain a mystery to all denominations and all humans.
So, should anyone make you feel like they have a direct phone line to God, while the rest of us are either disconnected or on hold, please tell them nobody knows the mind of God. For me, our gateway to heaven is, simple, honest, respectful living with kindness and love of all. That way, we won’t need the phone click, or to defend our denomination, thereby gatekeeping. Let’s check our lifestyles, especially how we treat other people. Do we love or help unconditionally, or do we luxuriate in transactional love?
I urge us not to lean into denominations. Instead, let’s lean into faith and belief in God without demanding proof. After all, faith, they say ‘is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.’ So, not seeing God does not mean God doesn’t exist. In the final analysis, Papa was right, there is no telephone to heaven, and absolutely no one has a direct line.
- Elsie-Bernadette Onubogu, an independent consultant, international lawyer, public policy and mainstreaming expert, writes from the U.S.
