Apologise before it’s too late
There are so many hurts and bitterness in many homes and marriages. Unkind words and actions have driven a wedge between many partners. There is nobody living on this planet that at one time or another has not been hurt. Personally, if I should flash back to my past, I will lose count of the many times I had been hurt by people I trusted most. Yet, living in peace is inevitable.
Let me share with you some of the principles I have personally applied.
1. Don’t nurse your hurt: You hurt yourself the more when you nurse things people you trust do to hurt you. Throw them into the trash can and replace them with positive attitude. Self-pity will destroy you and those around you.
2. Don’t cause your hurt: You can only help the future by avoiding things that hurt you in the first place. Learn from your past mistakes.
3. Don’t rehearse your hurt: Going over and over your problems and meditating on what people have done to you will only turn your problems from a pool of water to an ocean and from a molehill to a mountain.
4. Reverse your hurts: Turn your problems into your propeller and your hurt into healthy attitude towards others. Remember, pains from hurts will make you bitter or better. 5. Learn to forgive. If you have hurt your partner, don’t feel too big enough to apologise. Ask for forgiveness. Say ‘I am sorry’. Go down beside your partner and put your arms around each other and then forgive each other. Your love life will re-surface again.
Learn from this story: In my secondary school days, a friend of mine stole my school fees, and it was confirmed that he stole my money by other classmates. I confronted him (Richard) and instead he beat the hell out of me. I was so sick that I could not write my promotional examination and was unable to pay my school fees that year. I had to repeat that class and Richard became my senior in school. Till we left school, I didn’t forgive this boy for so many years until I gave my life to Christ. I later went into the ministry after God called me.
Some years later, I came in contact with Richard, who watched one of my programmes on a local television station in Nigeria. He came to see me and, guess what: Richard apologised and gave me my first N1 million, which I even received in dollars. It wasn’t the money that mattered, but the peace I received when he came to tell me he was sorry. Since then, we have been best of friends.
Therefore, we must not hesitate to say sorry and forgive each other.
Exercise maturity
Marriage suffers because of immaturity. Little things like “don’t go out, you came late” have caused many problems in marriages.
Here is how to grow in maturity:
1. Discipline: It is important for everyone to be disciplined in life’s journey. Work on everything that will complement your life and give birth to the success you have always prayed for in your marriage. Know what to do and how to do it at the right time. Create time for your spouse. Know when to be home and when to be out.
2. Devotion: Be devoted and committed to your marital vows. Stay put, no matter what happens.
3. Discussion: Communication in any relationship enhances promotion and creates value. Talk about plans and problems together as family. Use your mealtime as your discussion time. Remember to keep the meal table a happy place.
