Dear Agatha
There is this married man who wants to marry my wife. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do about it.
Please help me.
Worried husband.
Dear worried husband
Sincerely I don’t understand what you mean by a married man wants to marry your wife and you don’t know what to do about it.
Why would this man desire to marry your wife?
This man, no matter how connected or wealthy he is, would never have the guts to walk up to your wife without a reason, to make such a vexing and demeaning demand.
For him to have such boldness, it is either you or your wife compromised your marriage somewhere along the line. This is what would give such a man the impetuous to make such a demand of you.
If you are clear you have not done anything to warrant this insult from this man, like always going to him for money or sending your wife to seek financial assistance from him, then ask your wife some very pertinent questions concerning the nature of her relationship with this man or her conduct in the company of her friends.
Make it clear you want honesty from her because anything short of the truth will greatly compromise your relationship with her as well destroy the foundation of your marriage.
By encouraging her to talk, you are giving her the opportunity to tell you how to proceed with challenging the right of the man to ask for the hand of your wife in marriage, or if the issue is worth your time.
If she maintains her innocence, go and confront the man. By doing so, you make it clear to him that if he does not respect his marriage or have any regard for the woman in his home, you would not tolerate his recklessness in your family.
Let him understand that you will involve the police in this matter to prevent him from doing anything untoward to you or your wife.
And that you have also reported him to the police and the community where he lives as a prime suspect in case of the unexpected.
It might also do you a world of good to find out about his friends to let them know what his game plans are.
Because of what some people can do, it might not be out of place, especially if he is the vicious type who would stop at nothing to get what he wants, to relocate your family.
The wisdom in this is simple; only the living stays married. If your office has a branch outside your location, ask for transfer to protect your life as well as that of your wife. You may have to confide in your boss to make the transfer possible.
Under no circumstances should you permit your wife to go to him to fight or quarrel with him. You are her husband and the man, so the onus is on you to defend her pride and honour as a woman and your wife.
Confronting the man will signal your ability to defend your woman, marriage and home at any time. To ignore this insult is to encourage him in his quest to take over your wife.
Even if you are no longer interested in your marriage, as long as your wife is still under your roof, it is your responsibility to defend her.
Good luck.
