Choose, verb. To select among a number of options
It was rather difficult deciding what topic to explore in this column this week. The thoughts which had been running around in my head for some time now had been causing me to wonder just how much evil a country could handle. Of course, our political situation tops the list of concerns, and it seems as if some kind of sinister game is now on which involves coming up with at least one new disturbing “revelation” every day to haul at the populace, and it does not matter whether it is true or contrived. So, we wake up each morning wondering what new fare we would be served: why is the Naira in free fall while politicians are said to be distributing US dollars all over the country; who is behind the petrol shortage; how much money is actually accounted for in the nation’s budget – N4 trillion or N20 trillion; which vice-presidential candidate has been made to sign a resignation letter; did pastors collect N7 billion; which governor is stalking a presidential candidate; etc.?
As if that were not enough, the people too seem to be succumbing to some demonic influence at their own level as well, and our newspapers serve us daily a rich fare of gruesome tales: a man bites off his stepson’s ear for daring to defend his mother; a bar owner sets a 13 year-old attendant on fire on the accusation of stealing N1,500, which was later found not to be so; a man hacks his own wife to death; policemen continue to visit brutality on the populace, including pregnant women.
How did I resolve the difficulty of choice of topic? Oh well, I decided to make an informed choice by submitting an article I had written some time ago on the subject of – well, choice.
We have a reading/discussion group in our home. Every Monday evening a few of us gather around our dining table and read portions of a book, commonly agreed upon, followed by exhaustive discussions of the ideas expressed in the book and what issues they raise for us as individuals, given our various personal dispositions and challenges. For all of us who are members of the group, these weekly meetings have afforded us some of the most stimulating moments we’ve ever experienced.
So, what has that got to do with our focus-word for this particular write-up? Well, it’s just that we were discussing a couple of weeks ago about the fact that some people come to a point in their lives when they are faced with choices that are so terribly hard to make. One of us mentioned the case of the parents of a lady who became paralysed as a child. Taking care of her constant medical needs required resources which the parents could not afford for more than the first couple years. Even then, it was not that they could really afford to pay; it was done more out of the hope that their daughter’s situation could be reversed. It soon dawned on them, however, that they were in this for the long haul and when that happened they had to take a decision: Should they (could they) continue to pour all their resources into the care of their bed-ridden child and thereby jeopardise the health and well-being of the other members of the family, especially the other children who had to be fed, clothed and educated? They chose the well-being of the others and stopped the purchase of the expensive medicines and other medical supplies needed by their infirm daughter. Tough choice.
On the other hand, I remember that when I was in secondary school, my mates and I used to ridicule the lady with the forced, “been-to” accent who was said to have had such trouble choosing which car to go out in and had to ask her husband to come to her rescue: “Toks darling, ninu gbogbo awon cars wonyi, ewo l’o fit colour shirt mi ju?” – Toks darling, out of all these cars, which one goes best with the colour of the shirt I’m wearing? (To get the best effect, you’ve got to roll your eyes in desperation and make your voice convey to Toks, daaar-ling, that the world would just about crumble on your head and his if he didn’t jump up quickly and help you solve this earth-shattering problem!)
Choices. We make them all the time and, indeed, choice-making could be said to be one of the most fundamental traits of the human being: when to go to bed and when to wake up; which brand of toothpaste to buy; what to wear to work; which school the children would attend; where the retirement home would be built; whether to have pounded yam or rice for lunch; etc. Some choices are made subconsciously, almost as a matter of course – they appear to be so self-evident; others require more thought, more deliberation.
We make many choices by and for ourselves; some we make for others, while some are made for us. The choices we make or accept to be made for us end up determining the kinds of people we ultimately become. It would be useful, therefore, to think consciously of our choices frequently and ensure that they actually contribute to advancing us along the lines of the kind of person we wish to be or bringing about the kind of world we long to have.
