“A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17a)
A friendly person must love others, be able to tolerate others, genuinely care for those people they love. Do to them the only thing you yourself can take. Some of us find this extremely easy, while others do not. This boils down to our different styles of talking, laughing, smiling, responding and communicating. Some of us are comfort for others. We enjoy being with some people and we don’t enjoy some people. What is the difference between these persons? Why does one person’s presence enliven the gathering and another dulls it? What are the qualities needed to make one friendly?
• The very first quality is smile. Smiling is an expression denoting pleasure, sociability, happiness or amusement. When we see somebody smiling, we feel pleased; this is due to the fact that smile has a favourable influence on people. A smile has a way of a making you approachable and likeable. And if the smile is without any malice, it is more enchanting. So, keep smiling. Keep your problems with yourself and keep your face smiling.
• Another is listening. When we don’t speak but only listen actively, people love us. They also realise that we are not self-centred. All of us have our own problems and need somebody to listen to us. Become a good listener. Ask open-ended question such as ‘Why?’, ‘And after that…?’ ‘What happened next?’ That will encourage the speaker to pour out all to you.
• Have something funny to say. There is enough pain in the world. Bring in some laughter. Have a collection of jokes and make your friends laugh. The more they laugh, the more they will enjoy your company.
• Overcome your insecurities. Part of the reason that you may not be the friendliest person in the world might be because you are lacking confidence and think that people will judge you any time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what lies behind your distrust or coldness to other people, and see if it has to do more with what you think of yourself. If that is the case, then work on loving the person you are, loving what you do, and addressing the flaws that need some work. It is not guaranteed that overcoming your insecurities will happen suddenly; it can take years, years of hard work. The most important thing is recognising this as one of the sources of your problem with being friendly, and be willing to become nice to others. Remember that those people too may be just as insecure as you are, maybe even more.
• Compliment and appreciate. Have a word of appreciation for everyone. You can compliment somebody’s clothes, shoes, accessories, hairstyle etc. Compliment and appreciation make friends feel good.
To be friendly and to be charming is not an art; it can easily be developed by all of us. The only need is to pay less attention to ourselves and more to others. Make friends happy and they will love your presence. Make your presence the life of any gathering.
