Albert Okeke: A Londoner scammed by Nigerian lover
By Taju Tijani
“Teejay, I warned this girl that if she moves any further, I will deal with her and deal with her hard. As I inched further towards her, that bearded guy also began to move close to Amaka. Guess what… he grabbed her hand and made to take her away.”
I scanned the eyes of Al. It was all misty. The terrible experience he was narrating has left a huge dent on his psyche. I have come to Lewisham to arbitrate, listen, counsel and play the Devil’s Advocate. I knew where the story will end. I know that long distance relationship with Nigerian women is not advisable. It does not normally work. Men take it serious but women do not. I have heard many hard luck and done by stories of wounded lovers as a result of love across the ocean. We are all wired differently.
Al poured out a small glass of cognac brandy and sipped. He lowered the television volume beaming out Burna Boy‘s greatest hits. Albert Okeke sometimes goes back to his bohemian past life to savour trending fads to shake off the tag of old school. I taught Al how to dance Afrobeats. I have sent some videos of my dancing skills to him to copy and practice. Tried as he could, he just could not wriggle like me. Al has a big garden at the back of the house. He went there and came back with a handful of organic apples for me. I took a bite and adjusted myself for a prolonged gist. He cleared his throat and continued.
“My cousins and uncles came over to my side. They were asking Amaka who was the guy and what did he want. Amaka could not talk oo. The guy gave her a handkerchief to clean her tears. I was very angry. I asked this girl to explain what was going on. She won’t o. My cousin and uncle then decided to engage her mum who was sitting under one of the party tents”.
“My dear, we are so sorry for what happened. Albert is our son and we supported and encouraged his relationship with my daughter. I did not allow her to mess up at all because of our family name. I was conscious of all the gifts from Albert, my son. I keep telling Amaka to remember her commitment to Albert. And she always assured me and even promised that she had no one in her life except Albert, my son” Mrs. Sarah Amaechi, Amaka’s mum, explained.
“It was at Nassarawa that the story changed. I was very upset and threatened to disown her when she narrated what happened. When Amaka got to the camp at Nassarawa, she knew nobody. After the orientation drill, she got her posting to work in a government agency in Lafia, the state capital. She then got an apartment in the town. The son of the owner of the building had just returned from the US and also live in one of the shared apartments,” Mama Amaka related the story to Al’s people.
“Teejay, to cut the matter short, Amaka ran into the arm of this guy o. Then there was this shouting match between us. I threatened fire and brimstones and warned that she will pay a heavy penalty for her betrayal. My brother, the man just held tight to Amaka and even dabbed her eyes with his own kerchief. I was looking like a fool. Something in me was saying that I should stage a last fight. I felt like an idiot to have trusted this girl so much. Amaka could not move. She kept looking at me with pleading eyes. Teejay, I was massively confused.”
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“So, the landlord’s son took interest in my daughter and showered her with money, gifts, time out and promise of travel to the US after the service year. When she had a break and came to Owerri, she hinted me about the man. I opposed her and warned her not to tarnish the name of her father in Owerri. I talked to her like a good mother and warned her against greed. I reminded her of all the selfless sacrifices of Albert, my son. She promised and assured me that nobody will come between her and Albert,” Amaka’s mum explained further to Al’s cousins and uncles.
“Guess what Teejay, the man asked Amaka to get into a parked Mercedes Car with a driver. I stepped forward and pull Amaka back. The man then hollered at me: “Will you stop that – you motherfucker?” I told him to fuck off and that he is the son of a bitch, a wanker and a scum. Our voices were raised through shouting matches and exchange of insulting words.”
“Mama Amaka heard the commotion and rushed down to us leaving my family members. Then the pin dropped. Teejay I nearly fainted.”
“She is three months pregnant please leave my daughter alone. Don’t let her suffer miscarriage o. We are sorry for what happened. Na devil work o. Nobody expected it this way, we are sorry…. Biko, forgive Amaka,” Mrs. Amaechi was in tears as she pleaded for her daughter.
“Immediately, I felt dizzy. I was dazed like a drunkard. My legs gave way. My arms went limp. My throat became dried. I was looking blank. Then one of my cousins came over and hugged me for support and patted my back. They shepherded me to my car and we left the scene. When I came back to my house, I was restless, moving back and forth like a caged and hungry lion looking for a prey to devour. Unable to bear the shame, I cut short my holidays to Nigeria and returned to the UK. So, Teejay what should I do?”
I fixed my intense gaze on Al looking for answers. But answers were not coming. He looked sober and defeated. He looked at Amaka’s picture and tore it into shreds and cursed it in Igbo. He opened his living room window to allow air to cool the tense discussion.
“Al, what are your losses in this long-distance relationship?” I queried. “What do you mean, how, you mean in terms of what and what?” Al fired back. “I meant financial, emotional, time and resource losses,” I said. “Leave that one I beg. Teejay, that is the saddest. For the last six years I lost over N14 million naira educating, feeding, clothing and paying for all other sundries for Amaka. I nearly bought her a car last year.”
“Al, do you want to move on or go on sulking and beating a dead horse,” I asked. Al remained silent unable to understand my sternness. “You must remember that a gap or prolong vacuum in a relationship is not good. Also, women are creatures of emotion and are always mindful of Plan B. Amaka, may have reasoned that you are older. The man from Nasarawa is younger. She may have thought hard about your three daughters. She may have discovered better potentials with the Nasarawa guy and settled at the unholy decision to dump you. Look, I am a man, her action is heartless, wicked and typical of some women who treat relationship as a passing game of roulette,” I counselled.
“Do you have any lingering problem with Amaka which was not resolved,” I asked a deliberate question. Al scratched his head. “Na dat one I told you about now.” “Did you find solution to it?” “Well, I have been doing pelvic muscle exercises, weight training, stopped fizzy drinks and using medication from Nija now.”
“Any joy with all the physical and medical efforts?” I asked. “Well, she still complains but I always assure her that I will get there someday. I told her that it is love, care and my kindness that matter.”
Yes, a man may love, care and throw gifts at a woman but the one thing a woman still craves for is steamy sex on a warm bed. At advancing age like Al, men are victims of Erectile Dysfunction Syndrome (EDS). Many of us, aging rockers and Lotharios who still want to behave like younger men are waging silent battle with this affliction called EDS. Medication is a cure but the cost is exorbitant. Agunmu Jedi, Aleko, Idi Yiyo and Ope Ehin herbs may offer some temporary cure but there is the problem of dependency.
Amaka made a bitter choice and exploited both the gap in distance, age and weak erection to throw Al under the love bus. She prefers a raging bull on her bed rather than an old man with blown gasket.
“Look, get over it” “Teejay, it’s not easy but I’m trying. I learned a bitter lesson. I have come to realise that when you leave the side of a woman for a long time you lose some of your rights. A lot of things could have happened at your absence.”
“Really” “Oh yes oooooo” Al dropped me at the bus garage. On the bus, I could not erase from my head Al’s nugget of wisdom: I have come to realise that when you leave the side of a woman for a long time you lose some of your rights. A lot of things could have happened at your absence.”
