By Oguwike Nwachuku
“There were times that I was deeply unsure about whether our marriage could or should survive,” Hillary Clinton, former United States First Lady, wrote in 2017 in her memoir What Happened?
“But on those days, I asked myself the questions that mattered to me: Do I still love him (Bill)? And can I still be in this marriage without becoming unrecognizable to myself – twisted by anger, resentment, or remoteness? The answers were always yes.”
The above excerpt was in reference to the case of infidelity of Hilary’s husband, former U.S. President Bill Clinton, with White House intern, Monica Lewinsky.
The scandal, in the 1990s, shook the foundation of Bill and Hilary’s marriage contracted in 1975 and left tongues wagging as to the choices left for the duo in a society where established infidelity in high places was enough to sweep Bill out of office.
Despite the fact that impeachment was dangled at Bill Clinton in 1998 and he survived the inquiry that was set up, the Clintons did not completely survive the fury of his misdemeanour going by the ragging close media scrutiny.
Recently when Hilary appeared on Good Morning America anchored by Amy Robach alongside her daughter, Chelsea, to promote their joint project, The Book of Gutsy Women, she said the “gutsiest” personal decision she ever made was not leaving her husband.
Her words: “I think the gutsiest thing I’ve ever done, personally, was to stay in my marriage.
“Publicly, politically, [it was to] run for president.
“And keep going. Just get up every day and keep going.”
To say that Hilary was instrumental to Bill pulling through the trauma of being thrown out of office over adultery and by extension, managing the family front with such uncanny equanimity as First Lady is to say the least.
Bill not only got reelected by Americans, he is still loved today as ever with Hilary keeping what is obviously one of the best family relationships any one can crave for.
The allusion here to Hilary is for obvious reasons.
Notwithstanding that she was hurt by Bill’s rabidity for sexual immorality, she still wore the garb of the First Lady humbly, lovingly, respectfully, committedly, socially and prayerfully.
Perhaps she did all that with the full knowledge and conviction that man’s infallible deficit can at any time expose him to the vagaries of life.
Hilary may have cast aspersions on Bill when he was guilty as charged in the confines of their bedroom or living room, but I am not sure anyone read where she handled what ought to pass as a family matter as public copy.
Fast forward to the recurring outbursts of Nigeria’s First Lady, Aisha Buhari, you be the judge.
On Wednesday December 11, we were regaled with Aisha’s latest public outing that has again touched at the heart of the first family.
Her latest outburst, no doubt, made some people happy because she must have said what they wanted to hear. Or better still, what they may not have heard about the family and itching to hear. But to many others, her story did not or should be ignored.
For the latter, the reason is that the wife of President Muhammadu Buhari may have acquired the status of always crying to the public over matters she thinks are in the interest of the people, and the solution ought to come from the people, but which unfortunately, the greater solution lies in her hands as mother of the Nigerian people.
If she is not shouting about the cabal holding her husband hostage and making it impossible for Buhari to give his best to the citizens who voted overwhelmingly for him, she is crying that the president has abdicated his “role” as the husband even though Buhari once spoke about the “other room”.
On Friday December 13, Aisha told a television programme – Journalists Hangout – that there is no pillow talk between her and the husband.
“There is no pillow in the Villa. We are always busy listening to one story or another. I think the people he put in the cabinet should just sit up and do the needful,” she said.
When also asked “not even in the other room”, in reference to her husband’s statement in 2016 that “she belongs in my kitchen and my living room and the other room”, again, Aisha replied “no”.
Not long ago, Aisha complained about Buhari’s nephew, Mamman Daura, claiming his presence in Aso Rock suffocates the family.
Nigerians were once treated to a video allegedly recorded by Fatima, Daura’s daughter, which Aisha said Fatima recorded to create the impression she (Aisha) was locked out of the Villa by Buhari.
In her December 11 press statement, Aisha took on one of her husband’s media aides, Garba Shehu, and the summary of her complaint is that Shehu should be sacked for not knowing his job.
Her statement is reproduced in full:
“Nigeria’s development is hinged on the ability of public officials to execute their mandates professionally, and to be shining examples in their various areas of endeavour. It is not a good sign when officials abandon their responsibility and start clutching at straws.
“As spokesperson of the president, he has the onerous responsibility of managing the image of the president and all the good works that he is executing in the country.
“Rather than face this responsibility squarely, he has shifted his loyalty from the president to others who have no stake in the contract that the president signed with Nigerians on May 29, 2015 and 2019.
“To make matters worse, Mr. Shehu has presented himself to these people as a willing tool and executioner of their antics, from the corridors of power even to the level of interfering with the family affairs of the president. This should not be so.
“The blatant meddling in the affairs of a First Lady of a country is a continuation of the prodigal actions of those that he serves.
“We all remember that the chief proponent appropriated to himself and his family a part of the Presidential Villa, where he stayed for almost 4 years and when the time came for him to leave, he orchestrated and invaded my family’s privacy through a video circulated by Mamman’s Daughter, Fatima, the public was given the impression that on arrival into the country I was locked out of the villa by Mr. president.
“Garba Shehu, as Villa spokesperson, knew the truth and had the responsibility to set the record straight, but because his allegiance is somewhere else and his loyalty misplaced, he deliberately refused to clear the air and speak for the president who appointed him in the first place.
“Consequently, his action has shown a complete breakdown of trust between the First Family and him.
“Mr. Shehu was privy and part of the plan and its execution and he was shocked when he realised that I had publicised my return to Nigeria on October 12, 2019 and cleared the air on the many rumors that took over social media, a job he was supposed to do but kept mute to cause more confusion and instability for his principal and his family.
“Garba then vented his anger on the National Television Authority (NTA) management insisting that the media crew to my office must be sacked. He succeeded in getting them suspended for doing their job.
“I had to intervene to save the innocent staff from losing their means of livelihood by involving the Department of State Services (DSS) in order to ascertain roles played by key actors in the saga.
“It is at this late hour that I recall, sadly, that it was the same Garba Shehu who claimed that the government will not allow the office of the First Lady to run. He was later to confirm to one of my aides that he was instructed to say so by Mamman Daura and not the president.
“This antic attracted the anger of Nigerian women. He didn’t realise the fact that the First Lady’s office is a tradition which has become an institution.
“Today, even without a budget, I am able run my humanitarian programmes. In saner climes, Garba Shehu would have resigned immediately after going beyond his boundaries and powers.
“GARBA SHEHU NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED.
“The latest of his antics was to wage a war on the First Family through an orchestrated media campaign of calumny by sponsoring pseudo accounts to write and defame my children and myself.
“Based on Garba Shehu’s misguided sense of loyalty and inability to stay true and loyal to one person or group, it has become apparent that all trust has broken down between him and my family due to the many embarrassments he has caused the Presidency and the First Family.
“We all have families to consider in our actions and therefore it is in the best interest of all concerned for Garba Shehu to take the advice of the authority given to him sometimes in the first week of November 2019.”
Power, no doubt, has corruptive tendencies. And one can see the display of raw power from all directions.
I will not hold brief for Garba Shehu for obvious reasons. I do not also envy him over what has hit him, perhaps because of his own “failings.”
But I ask again, in whose interest is Aisha unleashing all these vituperation? Who is the ultimate beneficiary of her tirade and provocative innuendos?
Nigerians are quite aware that the environment of the First Family has been politically contaminated.
The contamination is even made worse by the incessant alarm Aisha raises that does not help douse whatever tension is tearing the peace of the family apart.
In told my colleague, Ikechukwu Amaechi, one of those who get waowed each time Aisha shouts, that she may not know she is rebranding her family with all her outbursts.
I told him Aisha may be ignorant that she has been undermining her family with her outbursts and that the Buhari family as whole will be the ultimate loser.
Yes, many Nigerians sympatise with her over some of the issues she has been complaining about, but what she seems not to realise is that while the office the husband occupies is tenured, the family is not.
Quite frankly, I think Aisha needs to change strategy on how to get her demands met, both by the husband and the larger Buhari family.
She needs to tone down her incessant complaints about the things around her family, or better still, rethink her mode of communication.
Domestic matters are better treated the way they are and should be isolated from issues bred by a politically contaminated environment like hers.
I find it difficult to believe that Buhari would be siding with Mamman Daura and Garba Shehu against his wife and her interest, to the extent of keeping mute if not that Buhari, perhaps, looks at the larger family interest which is not tenured like the office of the president.
Our beloved First Lady should do less listening to those hell bent on climbing her shoulder to remain politically relevant now that the husband is in power, but do not care a fig about the larger Buhari family after office.
I doubt if anyone will give Aisha an award for comments that directly or indirectly destroy the unity of her family by the time the husband leaves power and office.
Rather than that, she will get the worse of flak, even from close quarters and those who probably were goading her on to say it as she sees it.
Nigerians appreciate the things Aisha does in her small space as First Lady. Let her get more committed to those things rather than the recourse to outburst that gives a section of the public the impression that she is uncontrollable.
Buhari’s administration has hardly provided the succour it promised Nigerians going by the humongous poverty and hardship the majority of them go through today.
The people should not be made to suffer both ways – government led by Buhari that has not lived up to their expectation and a First Family all they have to learn from is constant disagreement.
Buhari does not need distractions that will worsen existing challenges.
Aisha should make the home front as peaceful as possible even at great risk and sacrifice. Her dancing apparel should be in sync with the rhythm of the music.
