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Dame Ihedioha: Mother whose heart was her children’s schoolroom

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Dame Ihedioha, who died in Abuja on Thursday, April 20, was aged 90. That is a grand old age. And her passing is a celebration of life rather than a time for mourning.

Late Dame Dorothy Nsonma Ihedioha

By Ikechukwu Amaechi

Outlining the virtues of a Godly mother, Henry Ward Beecher, the 19th century American Congregationalist clergyman and social reformer wrote: “The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”

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On Friday, June 16, the mortal remains of one of such mothers, Dame Dorothy Nsonma Ihedioha, will be laid to rest in the pastoral Aronta community, Mbutu, Aboh Mbaise, Imo State, her marital home in the last seven decades.  

It will, no doubt, be a magnificent farewell as family, friends and well-wishers join Hon. Emeka Ihedioha, former Imo State Governor, in paying their last respects to the woman who was the matriarch of the Ihedioha family.

Dame Ihedioha, who died in Abuja on Thursday, April 20, was aged 90. That is a grand old age. And her passing is a celebration of life rather than a time for mourning.

But the celebration is not only about her longevity. It is about her impactful life, the very point Ellen Gould White, the 20th century American author and co-founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, emphasised when she noted that “next to God, the mother’s power for good is the strongest known on earth. Her smile, her encouragement, may be an inspiring force. Her influence will reach on through time into eternity.”

Dame Ihedioha was all that and more and the family she has left behind cannot but be thankful to God that she died an elderly woman of great prestige and ability.

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But even as she bows out in blazing glory, the story of her journey to being the grand old lady that everyone is celebrating in death bears repeating.

Born into a polygamous family on August 28, 1932, Nsonma was the only child of her mother who was the second of Chief Nwaobasi Okereke’s seven wives. But she was no ordinary daughter. She was the reincarnation of her father’s mother – Nnennaya. That earned her the adoration of a father who doted on her.

It was therefore not a surprise that rather than marrying her off, Chief Okereke of Okpala Eziama in Ngor-Okpala, sent his adorable daughter to school – Okpala Central School – where she obtained her First School Leaving Certificate (FSLC) in 1949.

After that, he welcomed a dashing young man, Bernard Ihedioha, from the neighbouring Mbaise community of Mbutu, who came to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. That was in 1950. She was 18 years and educated.

Her coming into the Ihedioha family was a blessing. As it was typical of the average Mbaise family of her time, the marriage was blessed with 13 children, two of who died after delivery. In Mbaise, omumu was a thing of joy and giving birth to ten or more children was a celebratory feat that admits one into the prestigious and privileged “eghu ukwu” club.

With 11 surviving children and admission into the privileged club, she had earned her stripes and could walk with the motherly swagger that omumu bestowed on her. But being a woman not contended with the mundane, 34 years after obtaining her First School Leaving Certificate, she went back to school – Bishop Shanahan Teachers Training College – in 1983 for her Teachers Grade Two Certificate, with which she taught in various primary schools in Mbaise.

For her, teaching was not just a career but a vocation. It was a calling that enabled her to extend her motherly care to her non-biological children. Testimonies abound as to her nurturing abilities that ensured the well-being and safety of the children under her care. Her love for education also explains why despite the death of her husband in 1995, all their 11 children had university education.

In her 73 years of marriage, 28 of which she lived without her husband – Nze B.M.G Ihedioha, Nzeudo 1 of Mbutu – she faced the adversity of losing three children with equanimity and uncommon grace, believing in the comforting promise of God in Proverbs 31:25 that: “Strength and honour are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.”

And, indeed, she did rejoice. Her first son, Emeka, attained extraordinary heights in politics and national leadership. He was Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives and Governor of Imo State. And none of these great attainments could have been possible without the support and prayers of a Godly mother. Anyone who knows Emeka Ihedioha beyond the razzmatazz of office would attest to the fact that the mother was his pillar of support with considerable influence, yet she remained unobtrusive.   

As Mr Peter Obi, presidential candidate of the Labour Party, noted at the service of songs in Abuja, Dame Nsonma ihedioha was a soothing balm, a peacemaker who wanted the best not only for his son but his associates and even rivals and the country.

Dame Dorothy Nsonma Ihedioha was not only a good mother who nurtured, cared and took care of her children, family and friends and strived to make the world around her a better place for everyone, she was also a wise steward of her home, time, and resources, who took responsibility for her resources and had plans for the proper management of her home and time. In deference to Proverbs 31:27, Dame Ihedioha watched over the ways of her household and did not eat the bread of idleness in her lifetime. Those who were lucky to make her acquaintance will also attest that in her old age, she always opened her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue was the law of kindness.

She served the Christian community with uncommon fervor. She was Dame of St. Christopher, member of the Anglican EFAC Group, Lay Reader since 1972, Ada Zion since 2002, Guild Member of the Anglican Communion, Mother of Virtue (St. James Church Asokoro, Abuja) since 2019, Grand Mother per Excellence since 2009, and Jerusalem Pilgrim since 2000.

And for her unquantifiable service to humanity, the Mbutu community accorded her recognition. She was the Lolo Nzeudo I of Mbutu and Ezenwanyi Udo 1 of Mbutu.

Emeka Ihedioha and his siblings are blessed because as former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln would say, “No man is poor who has a Godly mother.” But it is also a blessing that will justify their matriarch as she journeys home.  

At her graveside tomorrow to bid her final goodbye will be her eight surviving children, 32 grandchildren and one great-grandchild, two daughters-in-law, seven sons-in-law and 15 baptismal children. If the saying by Ndigbo that onye nwa liri bara uba (anyone privileged to be buried by the offspring is rich), is true, as indeed it is, then Dame Dorothy Nsonma Ihedioha’s blessings are unquantifiable – reward for a mother whose heart was her children’s schoolroom.

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