Though youth grow weary and tired, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint – Isaiah 40:30-31.
Being single can be tough, especially for someone who really wants to be in a relationship.
Such an individual becomes envious of those in committed relationships and thinks if s/he had someone, all their problems would go away.
They even go through the length of thinking that the reason they are single is because of a defeat in who s/he is. They become hard on themselves.
While single, the logical things to do are:
Love yourself
Before you can love anyone else, you need to love yourself first, because nobody can love you more than you can love yourself.
A relationship won’t save you or fill some empty part of you. It’s easy to think this way because we all want to be loved by someone. It feels good to be loved.
But true love comes when two people love themselves first and can share that intimate love with each other. Therefore, love yourself first!
Love being around yourself
You could go out to eat and treat yourself to a nice dinner. Enjoy the meal and spending time with yourself. If you feel uncomfortable doing this, that means you need to do it again or try doing something else aside from treating yourself to dinner.
Find ways to lift up your spirit
If you had a free afternoon, what will you do? Think of things that will get you excited, and do it. If you already do this, there is nothing bad in trying something new.
Stop wishing what could have been
When you find yourself thinking about the “what if’s” in life, try tasking yourself the following: “is this actually useful in helping me be happy right now”. “Is it helping in any way?”
Probably not, then why waste your energy pondering about these things?
Stop idealising your ex
Your ex is not perfect. Accept it. We tend to associate this person with all of the good memories when we are feeling lonely.
The hard truth is this; your ex is a person that you are not in a relationship with any more. That is it; they are nothing more, nothing less.
Feel genuinely happy for others in relationships (including your ex)
It is ok to feel jealousy, it is human nature. But when this act of jealousy is beginning to affect your happiness, or make you hate people, it is time to check yourself.
One way to get over some of these feelings is to verbally tell friends how happy you are for his or her relationship.
In turn, they are happy to hear it and that energy bounces back to you. The more you do this, the better you will feel about relationships.
You begin to associate relationships as something positive even as a single person.
Get out and meet people
The best time to do this is when you are single (at any age). You may not find a relationship right away, but it’s always great to practise.
Go out for drinks/lunch with coworkers after work
Don’t set any expectations for yourself, just go out there and have fun, and while at this, you might start to attract people you may be interested in, without even realising it.
Find people you can relate to
It is a lot easier to joke about the challenges of single life with someone who is also single. In fact, it’s helpful to know that you aren’t the only one thinking some of those “crazy thoughts”.
Find people who you can relate to but also can lift you up, not put you down.
It is ok to be single, it is fun also, therefore embrace it.
Everyone is single at one point or another, and it is how you choose to live the single life that is up to you.
