Don’t you just love it when friends or relatives gather at some place and they draw you in by phone, Skype or by whatever means possible? Thanks to the wonders of modern technology and to God who invented the concept of family and friendship.
Last Sunday Chi, “my sister number 3” or “my last sister,” called to say she just arrived London and was at the home of Elizabeth, my best friend from high school.
“Florence is here too,” she added as her voice was drowned out by the squeals of delight erupting in the house. Elizabeth came on the phone and asked me to join in by Skype. I spoke briefly with Florence, Elizabeth’s mother and my sister’s daughter, Esom.
Then I asked Elizabeth, “Did I hear you say Ure is there too?” When Elizabeth said “yes,” I could barely contain my joy. Ure is my best friend from my village and our friendship has survived some hard knocks. I used to stay with either Elizabeth or Ure on my frequent trips to London in the eighties and the two got to know each other during that time. I rushed off to church after the call brimming with joy: My best friends and my family together, thank you Lord.
Florence is Chi’s matching friend or mate in the Iyamabo family. The Uches and the Iyamabos met and became friends at three federal government colleges — Warri, Enugu and Benin. It just occurred to me that God must have set up these matching friendships because the Iyamabos and the Uches at each college were close in age so could become friends easily. Elizabeth and I were the starter friendship pair (and the tightest). Rita Iyamabo and my two other sisters —- Odo and Kokoko —-were closer in age and became friends at F.G.C Enugu. Chi and Florence matched up at federal Benin where Patience Iyamabo (who was older than the pair) did her A levels.
The Iyamabos (10 children plus their parents) housed different Uches at different points in their G.R.A Benin home which was always filled with love. I used to spend some of my short school holidays at their home, sometimes spending only a few hours with them —just long enough until my parents driving in from Enugu arrived to pick me up. My parents were spared the longer drive to Warri by picking me up from the Iyamabo home.
After I finished at F.G.C Warri, Chi and Florence sometimes ended up together at the Iyamabo’s home. My sister, Kokoko, reminded me recently that she too spent some time at the Iyamabo’s home during her youth corps service year in Benin.
There is an incident I bet Elizabeth would rather forget, but I tell it now to show how the entire Iyamabo family took me into their hearts. One end of school day, when her family’s driver arrived, Elizabeth left me behind at school in Warri and took off instead with a boy she had a crush on. A few hours later, she was back to pick me up and in tears. When Patience came to visit me recently, after my cancer diagnosis, as we were reminiscing about the Uche-Iyamabo bond I asked her if she recalls the left-behind incident. She said she remembered and filled me up on what transpired at their home that fateful day when Elizabeth showed up without Ngozi. She said everybody in the house, not just their mother, descended on Elizabeth, asking her, “Where is Ngozi? “ I don’t think her mother used the exact words, I use here, but I in my mind I see her issuing the kind of order Nigerian parents are wont to give when they mean business: Before I open my eyes, I want to see Ngozi standing right here in this house.
Poor Elizabeth, that was not a good day for her. It wasn’t only her family that turned on her that day, back in school anger at her was mounting too. Most people knew we normally left school together and many saw her leave with somebody else other than me. School mates were coming up to me and saying things such as: I can’t believe she did that to you…..
Another friend (of blessed memory), later told me that she had hoped that the left-behind incident would turn me against Elizabeth and move me closer to her. She said that she had to finally come to the conclusion that I would always stand by Elizabeth, even if others got mad at her —-and even if she dissed me. As I write this, I realise those words were later proven to be true.
About four years later, Elizabeth would face persecution at the University at Ife and I would stick close to her even though some school mates and/or their families showed little or no support. One school mate even said: She better stop suing the university up and down and go beg them. Absolutely not, Team Elizabeth said.
The saga of the enduring friendship between Elizabeth and I will continue.