My worry is that it seems that Femi Adesina is leaving his own space as a hailer and is trying to come unto our space as wailers.
By Achike Chude
I was lamenting the other day that I had not heard from presidential spokesmen, Laurel and Hardy – sorry, Femi Adesina and Garba Shehu (I don’t know why I keep calling them that).
I must confess that I have missed them, their mockeries, their anger, their admonitions, and their holier than thou attitudes towards us. Perhaps they are really holier than us! You never know!
They sometimes seem to be so good in their jobs that Nigerians are constantly accusing them of attempting to turn black to white and blue to red. I almost became a convert. If only they could pray for us that we may see what they see – the way Elisha once prayed to God on behalf of his servant in a period of danger.
Don’t blame Laurel and Hardy – sorry, Adesina and Shehu, for being angry at us. It must be very frustrating to them to realise that we do not notice all the beautiful things President Muhammadu Buhari has done for Nigeria.
They say that their principal, Buhari, is like a superman, and they have called him a promise keeper. Did he not promise to keep us safe? Are we not safe? All the killings in the country by bandits, terrorists, and kidnappers are just empty display of gra gra by these unpatriotic elements.
These killers just want us to think that the president is weak and a failure. But the president is smart. He knows their plan and has decided to ignore them. No more pursuing them needlessly. He knows that they will kill and kill and kill, until they get tired and stop. So, he is watching them, knowing that one day they will stop the killings on their own when they are tired.
READ ALSO: Why I became a politician
He has simply handed them over to God to deal with them. As for the victims of the killings, no one can accuse the president anymore of being insensitive and uncaring. He cares! He now makes sure that he says sorry to survivors and families of victims of killings. He said sorry a few days ago to the victims of the Kebbi State killings. Our president cares!
What of the economy that he also promised to fix? Are we not eating at least once a day? In a family of 15 able bodied Nigerians, both nuclear and extended, at least 1 person has a good job. Is this not a sign of a good economy? Did we not see the massive one million bag rice pyramid in Abuja that they displayed a few months ago to show us that the days of hunger are gone? One million bags to feed 250 million Nigerians! Impressive! The only problem is that the pyramid disappeared overnight and nobody seems to know where the rice has gone to. But Lauretta Onochie should know. She was the one that first told us about the ‘America wonder.’
“Come and see oo, come and see oo. Rice, rice, rice,” she screamed in joy and ecstasy, as she pointed and pivoted around the pyramid.
Yes! Lauretta Onochie will know where the rice has gone.
And anti-corruption?
Leave that thing! “Na where person dey work e dey chop”.
The only problem is that government people are over-chopping and they don’t even bother to clean mouth anymore. They chop in the kitchen, in the offices, in government houses, in the open, and in secret places. From local government to state and federal. Everywhere! Transparency International has even acknowledged that we know how to chop well well in Nigeria, and that our chopping has ensured that we passed some other countries in the global corruption index.
But my worry is that it seems that Femi Adesina is leaving his own space as a hailer and is trying to come unto our space as wailers. Let him just maintain his corner.
Perhaps, if he was not using cunny cunny to wail, I will not mind.
Hear him:
“There were cases of bad fuel before in this country. We slept for days, weeks on end at petrol stations, queuing for fuel. We survived. We will survive again. Las las.”
And again:
“Are you like King Lear at his gloomy worst? I’ve come to knock on your door. Are you saturnine and lugubrious ‘cos there’s no fuel, no light, no power? “Dem go reach bed power no dey, shuffering and shmiling ,” Fela Anikulapo-Kuti had sang long ago. “Be patient my soul, thou hath suffered worse than this.”
Suffered worse than this?
Wonders will never end! So Femi Adesina can admit, acknowledge, confess, avow, conclude, and surmise that Nigerians are suffering?
Though, to be fair to him, in his lamentations, he did try to be positive about the future as he kept on oscillating between a hailer and a wailer, talking about the beautiful things President Muhammadu Buhari is doing that we have refused to see.
And then he concludes:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why the unease within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him for the salvation of His presence.” Psalm 42:5.
Like his boss who has handed over the killings of citizens to God in prayer, Adesina has equally handed over the issue of governance to God. No problem with that, except that God has placed governance in human hands. So we are giving back to God what He has already given us: a paradox and contradiction.
As for Femi Adesina, let him remain in the camp of the hailers. We are content to remain wailers until things begin to really change.