I am a member of the vast majority, I presume, that holds a very dim view of the Nigerian politician. I understand and fully accept that my exposure to the less than noble ways of the Nigerian politician is the equivalent of a life sentence. Even if I flee this country (and let’s be honest, there are enough reasons to consider that), I still won’t be free from the grip of the Nigerian politician. My roots are here, meaning that members of my family, friends and acquaintances, who I will have to bother about, will ensure that the torment served as governance will always make my mind swivel back to the country.
Bamidele Johnson
Who and what is the Nigerian politician? A man or woman who claims to believe in God, but does things-with metronomic regularity- that invite comparisons with Satan. He or she has no sense of right or wrong; is eminently capable of heathen devilry-as evidenced by the malicious governance the country gets. Since the Nigerian politician is incapable of telling right from wrong, he or she, in spite of overwhelming evidence of heartlessness, is persuaded that a one-in-an-age reformer is in the saddle. His or her default mode is self-glorification, the type that won’t be out of place in a post-revolutionary dictatorship . His or her name must provoke the kind of slavering that the North Korean president, that beefy-faced chap, gets. Or sexual raptures, even. On top wetin? On stunningly hyperbolic claims of affection for the people, that of having “totally transformed” the country or state, that of being the “father of modern X state or the country”, that of having “made poverty history” and that of having made “irreversible change in the lives of our people”. The Nigerian politician is one who claims to be a “financial engineer” and a “manager of lean resources” despite his indifference to contract costs and general prudence.
Abetted by the media, he or she daily trots out froth, believing they are profound utterances. The Nigerian politicians claims to love constructive criticisms that could “move the state or country forward”, but gets his aides to lynch, in the press, even the most well-intentioned critic. The aides, who sometimes respond as though they’ve been bingeing on psychotropic substances, accuse critics of disrespecting the person or (most gravely) the office of the governor or president. They forget that the country is neither a monarchy nor a theocracy and that the president or governor isn’t a divinity. Disrespect? The only person capable of disrespecting an office is the occupant whose utterances or actions are out of step with public expectations, not those inviting his attention to such missteps.
The Nigerian politician is a Godfella. He never neglects the gatherings of Godfellas( luminaries on the clerical circuit).The politician’s association with the clergy is mined to the hilt . On the pulpit or elsewhere, he or she kneels down with an air bovine compliance, bowing the head as though inviting the cleric to press a God gland in the head and transmit a request for supernaturally-assisted performance in office.The Nigerian politician is an expert at keeping up providential pretence. A divine warrant is claimed for everything he or she does. Use of premium thugs, money and misuse of state power during and after elections fall in the divinely-inspired category.
It is why he or she claims that it is only God that gives power, even when such has been clearly acquired via chicanery. As a rule, the Nigerian politician employs “It’s the Lord’s doing”, the popular one-line explanation for electoral victory achieved through hideous means, to dress up an electoral heist as approved by God and as prelude to a dishonest call on opponents “to join hands with us to move the state (or country) forward”. The Nigerian politician, it has to be said, actually moves the state or country forward, but usually in the direction of a cliff. The Nigerian politician is all for “empowerment.”