The Ibadan Diary: Life through Korope – (3)
- Mini buses called Korope in Ibadan
By Taju Tijani
Kolington badged into Yomi’s office with a frowned face. He dabbed the sweat on his face with a handkerchief from the exceptionally sunny weather. He was in a linen short, t-shirt and a red baseball cap. He slumped on the single three-seater leather settee in Yomi’s office. He had bought some water melon, cucumber, tiger nuts and oranges on the way. Inside the second nylon were four large roasted boli and some groundnuts, his favourite. He sent one of the boys loitering around Yomi’s office to fetch him some pure water. They came back with six pieces.
“Oga Kolington how you dey?” Kola Iyanda was silent and looked the other way. “Ore, the ‘sacrifice’ is here, please join me,” Kola invited his friend to join in the boli and epa ritual. Yomi grabbed his own share of the boli followed by intermittent serving of the groundnut. Turn by turn they both wolved on the water melon, cucumber, tiger nuts and the oranges. Kola was watching Yomi with side glances not knowing what news Yomi had for him about Ronke. He looked anxious and worried. He removed his red baseball cap and relaxed properly.
“Kola, oro wa. I really don’t know where to start. But I will try. I had a chat with Ronke but I really cannot figure out her responses. When I called to know why she had not called you, she was a bit misty in her answer. Until. Hmmmn…..She asked me whether the Korope was your car. I had to put up a stiff defence and questioned her motive. I’m sure she was embarrassed and kept silent until she apologised and faded away on the phone. I felt so disappointed and went into a pensive mood. What kind of world are we in now?”
“Look, look, look stop all that bullshit. Just stop it,” Kola started angrily. “You just don’t get it. Your conservatism should not blind you to the new transactional nature of modern dating.
What ambitious and modern-day lady will go for a man who drives Korope when we have plenty of willing side chick seekers cruising around in Lexus? Yomi, seriously, would you fancy your younger sister dating a man in Korope? Dami lohun now! You can see yourself now. Even the church girl called Ronke who you vouched for knows the difference between reality and foolery. Lobatan. So, you don’t know that money has eroded true love in our society?” Kola lectured Yomi.
Yomi kept quiet. He felt for his friend. He understood the feelings of Kola. He questioned his own position and began to do a rethink of what Kola had been saying all along. He remembered his own whirlwind love affair with his wife. He got his wife purely through love and mutual interest. He reasoned that he had no car when he got his wife. He just could not understand why any woman would cancel out a man just because of the make of his car. He looked at Kola who had by now was reading 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.
“Ore, mabinu. I never knew that Ronke will misbehave like that. Omo yen wa easy going gan now! You should know that if she were to be wayward and loose, I will never dare plan a meeting between you. I still need to learn a lot about the sociology of modern dating where your ride may determine a yes or no. Oga o. Igboro ti wa daru patapata for our ladies. Imagine a woman with three kids still choosing what type of men to date. That’s very amazing for me. I still need to learn a lot about women and their preferences”, Yomi said, waiting for his friend’s reaction.
Kola could not be bothered. He was enjoying the limitless principles of living as contained in the pages of the book he was reading. He later held the book aside and faced Yomi.
“Yomi, look here, we are over 60. Both of us are granpas. We should not be chasing shadows anymore.
READ ALSO: The Ibadan Diary: Life through Korope – (1)
The Ibadan Diary: Life through Korope – (2)
As sexagenarians we should be affirming reality and stay away from idealism especially in a modern Nigeria where everybody assesses you by what you have. I knew right from the start of this Korope experiment that I would end up wounded and disappointed. But I had to play along just to prove the point that you are more likely to be attracted to women when they see the trappings of wealth around you. And the number one of that is the kind of car you drive. Remember that you can’t carry your house everywhere but at least your car is the number one status symbol for most women looking for a date. And God help you if you are not driving the top league like Lexus, Mercedes, Hilux, Muscle, Venza, Prado, Highlander and the likes,” Kola analysed, shaking his legs.
Yomi was banging away on his laptop trying to assist a would-be student of MAPOLY in Abeokuta. He heard all the narratives of Yomi on modern dating and its reliance on monetary factor. After about twenty minutes, he pushed his laptop aside and drew his chair close to Kola.
“Ore gbogbo nkan to so patapata ni mo gbo. It’s a pity that our women now go for high value men with money and stratus. During my time, I got Mama Atinuke through boyish charm and my intelligence. So, with our women now, there is nothing like charm or intelligence. As long as you have money, women will follow you. No wonder they are falling into the evil trap of Yahoo-Yahoo boys who show their wealth through expensive cars and luxury clothing. I think our women prefer comfort to struggling with any man. They don’t want suffer, suffer for love at all. What is really shocking is that even in our churches we still have women who will judge you by your car. A car? Ha, this is disconcerting to say the least,” Yomi spoke his mind looking at his friend.
Kola rose from the leather settee. He looked at his watch and told Yomi that he was leaving. “Ki wa lona abayo bayi o,” Yomi asked. Kola gave him a dirty look. “Ona abayo, or what did you say,” Kola asked.
“You don’t have to worry about the solution. Next week, I’m getting the Lexus 470 from the mechanic. I will cruise the love lane with that and bring back my result to you. The result will put you in a reset mode. The result will vindicate what I have been saying that Korope will not get the ladies for you. Our women are visual beings. What they see move them more than your words. When I get into the Lexus next week, majority of the women on love lane will, no doubt, think that I am a high value man. They will think that I am rich. They will think that I have money to burn. And with those assumptions, they will come into my car. And I will be the one to choose – either lepa, orobo, adu madan or oyibo pepper,” Kola said, smiling into the night.
Yomi bade him goodnight. He pulled down the iron shutter in his office and locked up. “Bo ba se je ni next week ko je ki ngbo,” Yomi reminded his friend.
- Concluded.