These days, girls want husbands the same way President Muhammadu Buhari wants angels as ministers. Abuja girls believe the city is full of spineless bachelors.
On his part, the president believes or seems to believe that no Nigerian alive is fit and proper to be appointed to the exalted office of Minister of the Federal Republic.
Sorry, today is not going to be all about politics. It would be a mix of something feminine and something political; for a change. Let’s see how the two can blend.
I’m tempted to agree with the president; but I don’t. The reason is that if he thinks no Nigerian alive is clean enough to fit his template; it amounts to unduly elevating oneself to the podium of the gods.
The president has so far made some appointments that are not devoid of questions bordering on impunity or complete disregard for existing procedures. That means he is not as clean as he wants others to be.
We remember the appointments at Assets Management Commission of Nigeria (AMCON) which did not go through the Senate as required by law.
This even generated some questions: how were those changes made? What led to the removal of the former management team and the board? What informed the appointment of the current team?
In fact the questions are endless: who is the influential APC member that owes some banks more than a billion naira and when his assets were threatened with a takeover by the former AMCON team, he raised alarm and had that team sacked?
I’m not accusing anybody of anything; but if these issues actually unfolded the way we have been told, then why are we crying foul over the so called corrupt practices and impunities of the past administration?
By the way, I am still trying to put my CV together because I hope to be one of the ministerial nominees. If Buhari is really looking for innocent angels as ministers, or those who can serve in any capacity in his administration, then I should be considered.
Wait a minute; actually, if I’m given a choice, I would rather be the arrow head of the War Against Indiscipline Directorate instead of accepting a ministerial appointment. I really want to keep Nigeria morally clean.
My first assignment would be to ensure that the noisy night club close to my apartment in Gwarinpa Estate is shut down. I believe it is an act of indiscipline to operate a night club in a residential area.
In shutting down the club and prosecuting the owners, I’ll also go after those big men and women in government who granted the required permission for the operation of such an indecent business there.
Then those scantily dressed girls who daily invade the area close to the club as early as 7:15pm and are still there as I go for morning prayers everyday should be forced to stop parading nudity in the public.
Talking about girls, sorry, young women, I really do not understand whether we have more women than men in Nigeria. Actually what I see daily points to that fact.
Forget about whatever results the last census exercise produced. They sometimes don’t add up. We all know that elephants can give birth to goats depending on who owns which.
Here, I am not talking about those half-naked girls on the street-sides. Or the cigarette-chewing, beer-sucking irresponsible ones who sleep and wake in club houses.
I am referring to responsible, well-educated, God-fearing young women in their early thirties who earnestly need responsible men to settle down with in marriage.
The other side of the enquiry is as to whether we have more women than men who are ready to get married; particularly in Abuja.
While I can confirm is that Abuja is full of men and women, the paradox is that as far as the social circle here is concerned; you can hardly differentiate between married and unmarried men.
It’s becoming common-place to hear young women say: we don’t have real bachelors in Abuja; we only have adventurers. Meaning: those who pose as bachelors are already married back home.
Helen (not her real name) told me a story of her cousin who works and earns a good salary in Abuja. She ran into her old male classmate one day and quickly concluded that something could happen between them.
The guy was well dressed and claimed to be doing well in his business.
A few days after they met, the young man became interested in knowing where the girl lived.
She agreed to take him to her apartment in Wuse Two on a Saturday. And she did. On reaching there, she treated the guy to a prepared reception; and made him feel at home.
The young man stayed till evening; and at a time a normal visit would have ended, the guy decided to doze off on the couch. The girl and her cousin became suspicious.
They later discovered that the young man had no job, no business, and no accommodation. He was squatting each night with different friends somewhere in the outskirt of the city.
Therefore, he was badly in need of where to sleep and be fed. And the girl in question was equally in need of whom to marry and be catered for.
Two individuals with two contrasting needs: the guy needed free meal and free accommodation; the girl needed a husband to lean on and not a parasite.
Needless to say that they parted ways. And that was the last time they ever met. The girl is still single and searching. I will surely revisit this issue; as soon as ministers are appointed.