Ordeal of teenager forced into early marriage

Senator Aisha Alhassan, Minister of Women Affairs

By Fatima Muktar

Special Correspondent, Lagos

 

A month afterthe Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi, advocated the codification of Islamic law to regulate polygamous Muslim marriages, a girlmarried off at15 has told TheNiche how she is trapped in poverty, malnutrition,and illiteracy.

Sanusi said it is wrong for men, especially in the North, who find it hard to make ends meet, to marry four wives, father 20 children, refuse to educate them and  leave them on the streets, many of whom beg for a living or become thugs and terrorists.

“The law will address what Islam says on marriage, it will outlaw forced marriages, it will make domestic violence illegal, it will put in conditions that you need to fulfill before you can marry a second wife, it will spell out the responsibilities of a father beyond producing a child,” Sanusi argued.

“It is a big law which covers a whole range of issues from consent to marriage, to maintenance to divorce, to maintenance of children and inheritance.

“It will be the first time in Northern Nigeria that a Muslim law on personal status will be codified.”

A Muslim housewife who pleaded anonymity shared her experience of early and forced marriage, which she said deprive her of the chance to make something out of her life.

Her words: “There is nothing I can do now. I already gave up. I don’t have the zeal for education anymore. I was in primary five when the young man came to visit my parents. He wore an army uniform. I was naïve.

“Then, I was told he was related to my father.They are  cousins.

“It was one afternoon, I just returned home, then I was also learning tailoring. I greeted him. As usual, I was curious who the visitor in kaaki was. I kept asking him questions upon questions, and he stirred at me for long.

“He could not understand some of the questions. I didn’t know what was going on in his mind as I was just 15years old.

“After three months, I was unaware that he had told his elder brother to talk to my dad, asking for my hand in marriage on his behalf, pointing out that he was shy to confront my dad with such.

“Without any notice, I was suddenly told to dress up nicely, that I would be having a visitor shortly.

“Then I started crying, and crying so bitterly, because it already occurred to me that this young man wanted to marry me soon, when in fact I was not ready, just the same way my elder sisters were pressurised to get married when they were not ready.

“When he came, I didn’t make any attempt to even smile at him neither did I ask him questions as I did the first time out of curiosity. I refused to greet him this time because I felt he was the root cause of killing my dreams.

“I love to be educated and I love education. I aspired to be an international journalist, as I was often told I ask inquisitive questions from people around me.

“I began to grow lean and pale. I was thinking deeply how I could get married at primary six. My dad asked me if I loved him.

“I was mute, but since my dad had repeatedly said the young man was of good character and conduct, I  told my mum that I agreed to marry him, but not now,  even after completing my primary education.

“I felt bitter and shattered. I pleaded I should be allowed to complete my secondary education. Then, I’ll agree to marry the young man, but all to no avail.

“My talk of getting married without completing primary six was all over the place. My friends in school teased me and some felt so sorry and bitter for me. The young man knew I was never interested in marriage at that early stage.

“Unfortunately, I got married without completing my primary education. I was in primary six, first term, when I got married.

“Before the marriage, he promised to support me in pursuing of my ambition. He requested for my primary school certificate which was not granted because I was unable to complete it.

“I already gave up on education. I felt I was already shattered, and because he was not too enthusiastic about my education after the marriage, he didn’t follow it up.

“Now, I have a two-month-old baby and I look at this baby and begin to wonder if truly I am a mother of this child, it seems like a dream. Very unbelievable I must say.

“At this point I have lost hope completely. I am not even sure I can cope with education anymore.”

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