Do you frequently feel like a stranger to your spouse? Not because you are not on a talking term but probably due to your hectic, over-demanding job. Even children’s affairs could eat up your quality time with your spouse. Others are commitment with friends and family members, household chores, and so on. Do you feel like the only time you get to be intimate with your spouse is when you are on the bed, knocked out, with the only thought of sleep?
If this sounds like you; then the following tips will be of help at keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like. Not forgetting that it is all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives that leads to intimacy in our relationships.
1. Do it the old school way, write a love letter: Yes, a love letter, not an instant message via BBM, Twitter, email, or Facebook. You need to actually spare some minutes to write down all the things that you love about the other person and then give it to them. This is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do. You can even do this for your children too and they will never need to doubt that you love them.
2. Spare some few minutes to talk about your day: This could be done at the dinner table. If your family happens to be those that don’t eat together, for the sake of building a loving and intimate relationship in your relationship, it is advisable you start today, as “a family that eats together stays together.” During dinner, you can take turns to talk about what you did in a day, mention the best and worst things that happened that day.
3. Celebrate all your spouse’s successes: It could be a simple pat on the back, a well done note, a high five, or an actual celebration. The most important thing is being aware of their successes and celebrating them immediately, that is what counts.
4. Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know: People love to be praised and acknowledged, especially by their loved ones. A simple sentence of “I’m proud of you”, “you always bring out the best in me”, can go a very long way.
5. The power of a hug – Hugging is a form of physical intimacy that is extremely effective for healing of loneliness, stress and depression. The energy exchanged between two people hugging is an investment in the relationship, because it encourages empathy and understanding. Hugging is simply saying “I understand whatever it is you are going through, and even if I don’t, I am there for you.”
6. Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why it is important. Thank God for social media on this one; apart from sending the picture, you can also use the picture as a display picture on your social media platform, showing to your contact how much your spouse in the picture, or the moment the picture was taken, means to you.
7. Share an experience together: It could be going to the cinema after work; for a late night movie, a stroll around your estate after dinner, sharing a story from a magazine/newspaper article. You can go further by sharing your thoughts about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it. Make sure you do this on regular basis, not just a one off.
8. Compliments: Everyone loves getting them, so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters. You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.
9. Dance: It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably for five minutes maximum. It is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other.
10. Thoughtful gesture: Doing something unexpected, especially when your loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support.
Never give up in showing your spouse how much you love them. Remember that “love is patient, kind, not self-centred, protects, always trusts, hopes and most especially perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13). Do all it takes to remain in a loving relationship.