Recently, the story of Mrs. Ruth Uche and her twins, who were abandoned by her husband, Benjamin Uche, after giving birth to another set of twins, was widely reported in the media. Traditionally, in Africa and, indeed, other parts of the world, the birth of a child or children elicits joy, happiness and celebration.
Strangely, however, this was not the case for Mr. Uche, as the 39-year-old Lagos factory worker fled home upon learning that his expectant wife was carrying the family’s third set of twins. In 2009, Mrs. Uche gave birth to her first set of twins (two girls) named Goodness and Goodnews. Two years later, she had her second set of twins, a boy and a girl, named John and Joyce. The recent arrival of the third set of twins, Daniel and Daniella, scared Mr. Uche who, perhaps, in consideration of its severe economic implications on his lean purse ran away from his family.
However, succour came the way of abandoned and miserable Mrs. Uche and her children from the Lagos State government. Acting upon the directive of the governor, Akinwunmi Ambode, the deputy governor, Oluranti Adebule, directed that the woman and her children be rehabilitated and assisted by all relevant government agencies to ensure they are in good condition. Indeed, Mrs. Uche and her triple twins were later hosted by the deputy governor in her office at the Secretariat, Alausa, Ikeja. Speaking at the event, Adebule sympathised with Mrs. Uche over the traumatic experience she has faced in trying to raise the six children following the disappearance of her husband, assuring that the government of Lagos State is ready to come to her aid and ensure the well-being of her children.
Adebule equally revealed that the governor had approved the release of some amount of money to be paid into an account and part of it will be used to attend to some of the immediate needs of the children and their mother, adding that officials from the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation have been directed to provide the necessary logistics support to her.
Similarly, the Speaker of the House of Assembly, Mudashiru Obasa, equally came to the aid of Mrs. Uche by donating food items, beverages and cash gifts to her. Obasa, who personally visited the woman, whom he referred to as a member of his constituency, at her home encouraged her not to be overwhelmed by her current predicament as it is just a “passing phase”.
Several appeals were, thereafter, made by the state government and other stakeholders to the runaway father, Mr. Uche, to come out of hiding and face his responsibility. For several weeks, he rebuffed all entreaties to come home to his family. It is, however, cheering that he eventually showed up to his family after three months. Now that he has finally returned home, coupled with the appreciable change in the family’s fortune, it is imperative to highlight some salient issues concerning the whole episode.
One, the Lagos State government, the House of Assembly and other individuals that have come to the aid of the Uches in their hours of despair must be commended. We have always emphasised that the spirit of Lagos is one of brotherliness, affection and love for one another, irrespective of human and mundane dividing factors. By coming to the aid of the Uches, the state government has demonstrated that governance is all about caring for every segment of the society, especially the downtrodden. We have always insisted in Lagos that the good of every resident of the state is very dear to the government.
Equally, Mrs. Uche must be lauded for coming out to seek help, rather than abandoning the children as others in her situation would have done.
The prevalence of cases of abandoned children in most parts of the country could be traced to this kind of tendency. By her sheer determination to keep the twins, despite the frustrating experience of being abandoned by the husband at her hour of uttermost need, Mrs. Uche has clearly shown that she is a mother indeed. The typical African woman, by nature, would never, for whatever reason, abdicate responsibilities over her children. Rather, she stands by them through thick and thin. That is what Mrs. Uche epitomises.
On the contrary, by turning his back on his family at such critical hour of need, Mr. Uche has demonstrated a high sense of gross irresponsibility. What actually makes a man to be a man, indeed, is his ability to look after his family irrespective of changing life’s circumstances. Supposing Mrs. Uche and her children had died in their miserable situation, would Mr. Uche have returned home like he did after the wife had successfully and valiantly weathered the storm? By subjecting her wife and children to such disgusting ridiculous event, Mr. Uche has, perhaps, lost every right to be referred to as a man in the real sense of it. In some other climes, by now, Mr. Uche would have been answering charges over his ignoble act.
The Uches’ experience has once again brought to the front burner the imperative for proper family planning in our society. In Mr. and Mrs. Uche’s case, it is apparent that their meagre earnings could not really sustain the number of children they have given birth to.
Family planning is important for the health of a mother and her children, as well as the family’s economic situation. According to the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), having children more than five years or less than two years apart can cause both a mother and her children serious health consequences. The financial consequence of having children involves the medical costs of pregnancy and birth and the high costs associated with actually bringing up children. Since parents are accountable for providing education, shelter, clothing, food and other such vital needs for their children, family planning has an important long-term impact on the financial situation of any family.
It has also become extremely essential for all tiers of government in the country to do more in terms of women empowerment. Through Mrs. Uche’s experience, the vulnerability of women in terms of the economic challenges in the country has clearly come to the fore. It is, therefore, crucial for governments, related non-governmental organisations, corporate bodies and well-meaning individuals to bring on board more creative strategies through which more women could be empowered in the society.
On a final note, the Uches’ experience plainly reinforces the almightiness and mysteries of the Supreme Being. It remains a mystery as to how men and women of great means, who can afford whatever it takes to give their children the very best of everything in life wait endlessly to bear children, while some other ‘lucky’ folks like Mr. Uche, who are actually fed up with having children, continue to have more. Who can question God on the way He does His things?