Dear Tinu,
Please, I need your help. I think I am falling in love with my husband’s best friend, and I think he loves me too (at least he says so).
The story is that I actually met both of them at the same time and though I really preferred him, it was my husband who made his intentions known. Shortly after, my husband’s friend travelled out of the country for a doctorate degree and so we didn’t see each other for about six years.
He has come back to the country now, and though he doesn’t stay with us, he spends every spare moment in our house. My husband is super-excited and so am I.
I caught my hubby’s friend staring at me about twice. When, in the absence of my hubby, I asked him why and he said very softly and quietly that he regrets not making the first move for me many years back when he and my husband first met me. I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t know he had such feelings for me.
We have since spoken and I asked him why he didn’t make a move several years back and he said it was because he knew my husband was interested; hence he decided to let go.
My husband and I have no children and I am seriously contemplating leaving him for his best friend. I just want to live my life. I want to follow love. Help me please.
Mrs. B.
Dear Mrs. B,
You have to understand and appreciate that you took vows before God and man, and those vows must be honoured. You cannot throw away your vows because someone claims to be in love with you.
If your hubby’s best friend could let you go as he claimed, you couldn’t have been very important to him then. You should ask yourself the following questions. What does he want? Why is he telling you now? What type of a person is he who is willing to betray his best friend?
You have not said anything bad about your husband. Maybe you both need to stay away from this your husband’s friend for some time, to enable you build your relationship better. Stop listening to what he is telling you. The grass is always greener on the other side; but don’t forget it still needs to be mowed.
Please give your marriage a chance and get rid of all distractions. I pray you do not make a mistake that will end your marriage. You may think you are in love with your hubby’s best friend right now; but I am positive you will thank me later for this advice. You are no longer a child, and should not be easily swayed by loving words. You are an adult who understands actions and consequences. Please cut him off. May God help your marriage.