Pamela Adie said: ““After I got married, I knew the next day that ‘oh my God, I shouldn’t have done this’. So I started asking myself ‘how am I going to find my way out now?’”
By Ishaya Ibrahim, News Editor
Filmmaker, Pamela Adie said it took her less than 24 hours to realise that she made a mistake in marrying her man, even though they remained together beyond a year.
Pamela Adie is an LGBT activist and the first filmmaker to produce a Lesbian movie, Ife.
Speaking with vlogger, Chude, Pamela Adie said despite realizing her mistake in getting married, she couldn’t immediately make sense of what went wrong.
She also revealed that she slipped into depression for about a year even though she tried to make the marriage work.
The 38-year-old filmmaker said the problem persisted until she realised “it’s not him, like it’s you”.
“After I got married, I knew the next day that ‘oh my God, I shouldn’t have done this’. So I started asking myself ‘how am I going to find my out now?’” she said.
“But at that time, I hadn’t come out to myself yet but I just knew this wasn’t going to work, how am I going to do this? After I realized I wasn’t going to stay, I fell into this depression thing for like a year.
“At the same time we went to counselling, we travelled because the counsellor said maybe we need to be elsewhere. I said maybe it’s the perfume, maybe it’s his wardrobe I don’t like.
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“I kept looking for things that would endear me to him. He didn’t know this because I didn’t even know what was happening to me. So I took a trip to San Diego.
“While I was there, I went to visit a friend of mine. I was just lying down on the bed and I was looking up, and it just hit me like ‘ ahh it’s not him, like it’s you’.
“For me, that was the moment I came out to myself and I was like wow, everything made sense. Because when I looked back at the history of my life, it just made sense all of a sudden.”
Pamela Adie is well known as an advocate of the LGBTQ community in Nigeria. She is also one of the producers of ‘Ife’, Nigeria’s first lesbian movie.