Dear Agatha,
Please I am a guy who has taken to the habit of masturbation. What do you think about it and what effect is it likely to have on my sperm count as a man? Please advise me.
Maxwell.
Dear Maxwell,
Masturbation is self-stimulation engineered to cause sexual sensation or satisfaction. It is a habit most people that started in their teenage years. Mostly a problem with men, insecurity and lack of confidence to approach a member of the opposite sex begins this process of self-expression.
For women, lack of sexual satisfaction as well as fear of getting pregnant are mostly the reason young girls take to self-expressions.
It connotes a person manipulating his or her genitals to the point of intense pleasure or orgasm. Although many health providers say there is nothing wrong with the practice, once the excitement dies down, guilt and/or shame takes over.
A survey on the subject suggests that approximately 94 per cent of teenage males and about 70 per cent of teen females have at one time or another done it and are still tempted to do it.
Though, like all sexual habits, masturbation falls under the taboos, sexuality experts are of the view that people who masturbate tend to function better sexually when with a partner because the act of masturbation has given them full knowledge of body secrets. Therefore, they know precisely how to direct their partners to fulfilment.
Despite what most people think, masturbation appears to be a normal as well as healthy way to get sexual satisfaction. It is one that is safe and does not run the risks of pregnancy, sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) or incompatible sexual preferences.
From available facts, masturbation does not have to diminish the experience of intercourse because, for many people, it is not a one or the other concept or reality. For most people, orgasm from intercourse is less intense because their own masturbation pattern differs from the sensation of arousal or response when they are with someone.
For women, in particular, the pleasure from masturbation is more intense than both the experience of intercourse and orgasm through intercourse, for different reasons. During intercourse, while a woman experiences closeness, tenderness, and lust, she does not usually get the stimulation on her clitoris that she is used to or familiar with from masturbation. This is neither good nor bad.
To ensure sex remains a unity tool between a man and woman, particularly as its affects the foundation of a good marriage, despite the pleasures individuals get from self-stimulations, partners should teach each other how to give pleasures in other ways. When partners combine their knowledge of what they have learnt about their sexuality through masturbation, they can help each other achieve an unimaginable height of satisfaction. This is the area sex becomes evolving and patented to suit individual needs.
The only negative effect of masturbation remains our moral and religious values. This is the point sexual satisfaction gives way to other considerations, which are totally alien in the bedroom. The anxiety of our moral and religious beliefs brings with it a lot of issues which include the propriety of engaging in an act created to be performed by a member of the opposite sex. With this comes low confidence and very low self-esteem which all have direct bearing on our performance as well as ability to give pleasure. Your fears about being able to produce healthy sperms in the future, following your dependence on masturbation, are natural but lack enough grounds and medical support.
So, the issue of whether it would affect the quality of your sperm in the future doesn’t arise at all. This is because masturbation is generally not physically harmful. Frequent masturbation does not reduce your sperm count nor does it affect your ability to achieve an erection. Younger men may be able to get an erection and ejaculate every day. But as men get older, their ability to achieve daily erections may decline. This is a factor of age and has nothing to do with the frequency of masturbation. Also, there is no evidence that frequency of masturbation affects a man’s ability to produce sperm.
As a matter of fact, the more often a man ejaculates the more sperms he produces. Most experts would recommend masturbation as a normal part of sexual life because it has its positive effect on the quality of sex.
However, it could be a problem if the act is always enveloped in guilt. This comes from public moral perception on the issue of masturbation. Boys who generally masturbate will develop guilty feelings that what they are doing may not be correct and may affect them later in their marriage. Such feelings over a long period of time may create a low confidence and may lead to impotence. Men, especially who engage in the act, have a tendency to finish it up quickly before anybody catches them in the act. So, the period of erection is reduced, and if this has become the practice over time, it follows that during intercourse, he would ejaculate early.
After a while, this becomes a huge problem. Some people get addiction to this masturbation, such that after marriage also they get more satisfaction in masturbation than the actual intercourse and lose interest in sex. Even if they do have sex, they find it difficult to beat the habit, as they continue to masturbate, which in the end could lead to major marital problems.
Whatever you decide on, ensure you are on top of the situation at all times. If you are the type that cannot control your urge of self-stimulation, the best bet for you now is to begin to cut down on your habits, as your woman may not take kindly to competing with this practice of yours when she demands for your time and attention.
It is always imperative you ask yourself why you went into it. Knowing the why would help you map out the how of getting out of it. There is no way you can help yourself beat the habit if you cannot control your emotions.
Good luck.