Christian couples are constantly struggling with sexual temptations, with many succumbing. Woman Editor, TEMITOPE DAVID-ADEGBOYE, was at a seminar, where couples were taught to deal with temptation
Coveners: Tinu and Yomi Agbabiaka
Even Jesus Christ knew that temptation is inevitable that he added “lead us not into temptation” to the prayer template to his disciples. But many Christian couples have fallen because they underestimated the power of lure.
Against this backdrop, Christian organisations have continued to hold seminars and talks to enlighten couples on how to avoid falling into temptation. One of such seminars held on Saturday, June 21, 2014 at Lagos Oriental Hotel, Lekki.
The event, a bi-annual couples’ seminar and dinner organised by Practical Christian Living Initiative, had its theme as Temptation.
As early as 4pm, couples dressed in “glam red”, colour code for the event, started trooping to the venue where Tinu Agbabiaka, President, Practical Christian Living Initiative, noted that temptation is “the desire to have or do something that you know you should avoid”.
According to her, temptation is not really bad, as it comes as a check to see if one is still standing.
For the relationship expert, everyone goes through one form of temptation or another, adding that even Jesus, the son of God, was also tempted in Mathew 4:1. “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” If Jesus could be tempted, then, we as human beings should expect to be tempted. But just like Jesus was able to overcome, Christians too can overcome every temptation.
She, however, submitted that it is possible to overcome. All one needs is to recognise and make up one’s mind not to fall.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13).
She identified desire for holiness, cravings and deprivation as key factors that lead couples to falling easily into temptation.
Holiness attracts temptation and it comes from our own desires, which entices us and drags us away. James 1:14-15 says “but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed”.
Agbabiaka added that temptation thrives on cravings. She urged couples to watch their cravings as they can lead them into temptation. “What you feel you lack most is what you would likely get tempted by. For example, if you feel you are not getting enough love at home, someone would come along and give ‘that love’ you feel you lack, and you will fall.”
She also noted that temptation never gives up; as such, couples must know that even if they overcome one temptation, another would come in another way and another form. The only remedy is to constantly flee. “When the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came” (Luke 4:13).
One of the main reasons couples fall into sexual temptation is lack of appropriate sex at home. Agbabiaka said based on scriptural injunction, couples must never deprive each other of sex.
“But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband”, couples must not deprive themselves of sex and be willing to explore” (1 Cor. 7:2).
She noted that for those who have been married for a long time, over time, sex can become boring so much that the couple may be able to predict the place, time and even the duration that the action will take place. The most important thing, according to her, is for couples to regularly talk about their sex life.
“Spice up your sex life. Sex is from God. Your spouse’s body is yours to explore and enjoy. It is also your responsibility to give your spouse great pleasure. Make that your goal. The ironic thing about sex is that as you give pleasure and see your spouse experience intense pleasure, you experience it too. I call it ‘shared joy’.
“Your attitude to your spouse is a great determinant on how your sex life will be. Do not be mean, dismissive, rude or impatient, and expect great sex afterwards.
“Do not limit sex to the bedroom alone; use the living room, kitchen, car seat and office. The main idea is to be discreet. You may also, as a couple, book a hotel room and spend the night there. The hotels should not be just for illicit affairs!
“Whoever said sex should only be in the middle of the night? Sometimes an early morning, mid- afternoon sex is not a bad idea at all; even meeting up for a sex-lunch. Try it and you will thank God for me.
“Find comfortable positions that give you more pleasure. This will differ from individual to individual. Do not limit yourself to ‘missionary’ position only. It’s only good for a while, then it becomes absolutely boring. While exploring, remember uncomfortable positions for your spouse will only cause pain. You must always ask if it’s okay for your spouse, if you are the one initiating the position change,” Agbabiaka advised.
She urged couples to constantly pray not to give in to temptation. “Converse with God and make your spouse your best friend. Talk to each other, confide in each other and bond together.”
The relationship adviser referred to the gospel of John where the sign of great love is expressed: “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
It was not all talk, as couples engaged in quiz and dancing sessions.
Earlier in the day, young adults between ages 21 and 29 had their own seminar with the theme ‘Unveiling you’.
Practical Christian Living Initiative is a non-profit organisation, birthed by God’s inspiration to relate God’s word to his people in an easy-to-apply way to daily activities and paying particular attention to aspects of Christian living that seemingly appear mundane and non-threatening to the Christian faith.
The initiative also strives to challenge Christians to explore their strengths and weaknesses in their relationships. These relationships include, but not limited to, relationships with fellow Christians (irrespective of denomination), with spouses, children and other family members.