The serpent saunters by and seeing an idle woman and commences a conversation with her.
By Lechi Eke
Scripture says; Take no thought saying…
And Scripture says, Walk not in the counsel of the ungodly…
Eve and the Serpent
It is in the cool of the day. Eve’s husband has gone to work. And she has finished house chores. But there is nothing else to do. No one is by to share a story or two or play cards or tennis. The serpent saunters by and seeing an idle woman stops to chat with her.
Serpent: Hello there!
Eve: Hello to you too!
Serpent: How has your day been?
Eve: So, so…
Serpent: Seems you’re bored.
Eve: Of course, I am. Who wouldn’t?
Serpent: (nods knowingly) Same here. One can get bored to death.
Eve: (smiles) Fortunately, I cannot.
Serpent: How so?
Eve: I cannot die. The Creator said it’s only if we eat that fruit over there that we could die.
Serpent: Wow! Hit me with a stick! I want to know about it.
Eve: I cannot die. The Creator said it’s only if we eat that fruit over there that we could die.
Serpent: Wow! Who told you that?
Eve: God Almighty, the Creator.
Serpent: (chuckles) That’s ludicrous. How can you die? I eat fruits from that tree everyday and nothing has happened to me. Don’t take everything He tells you by heart. He says lots of things He doesn’t really mean. Well, it’s not that He doesn’t mean them, but you shouldn’t take them literally. You’re to take care of yourself, do whatever you deem fit. You’re a smart being, created to figure things out. Enjoy yourself (walking away).
Eve: Where are you going?
Serpent: To get the fruits from that tree.
Eve: Don’t touch them. Fruits from that tree are dangerous.
Serpent: Watch me. (Plucks three and bites into one). See, very sweet, very succulent. After a hard day’s work, I eat it and I relax. It has a soothing effect on my nerves, calms me down. It makes me think clearer and makes me wiser…
Eve: (watches him for a while. Nothing happens to him) Hmm…
Serpent: (bounces up and down) this fruit makes me energetic, frees my mind and helps me think clearly.
Eve: May I have some?
Serpent: Of course, you may. We’re generous around here.
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The Liar and the Serpent
Serpent: Hi! What’s going on?
Liar: I’m having a difficult time here trying to figure out how to um…umm… present a case and not look bad.
Serpent: Why think about it? Tell a lie, make it sweet. Truth belittles you. A lie will make you look great.
Liar: hmm… thank you!
The Thief and the Serpent
Serpent: Hello, my good man!
Thief: Dear friend.
Serpent: Sup?
Thief: Nothing. I’m jobless at the moment.
Serpent: Why so? There is so much to do.
Thief: I don’t have the means.
Serpent: Come on now! Help yourself from what others have gathered. Stingy folks won’t give unless you take it from them.
Thief: Oh! I’m not sure it’s right, besides, I might get caught.
Serpent: That’s so centuries ago. This is the 21st century. Tech science can fix anything. Ask AI.
Thief: Artificial Intelligence can fail sometimes.
Serpent: Aww, come on, not with what’s available now. There’s nothing you cannot get away with. Use your gray matter.
Thief: Show me how not to get caught.
The Haughty and the Serpent
Serpent: Howdy!
The Haughty: I’m sorry I didn’t greet. I’m not the sociable type.
Serpent: No, don’t greet. Why should you greet? You’re a very important person whom everyone should greet and you greet no one.
The Haughty: (excited) Are you serious?
Serpent: Sure! You can only greet very important people with money or power beyond you. All others ignore. They’re persona non-grata.
The Haughty: Wow! Thanks pal.
Serpent: It’s nothing, buddy!
The Unfaithful and the Serpent
Serpent: It’s tiring building trust, my dear.
The Unfaithful: Are you talking to me?
Serpent: Sure buddy. How are you coping?
The Unfaithful: Mehn, it’s crazy. No matter what you do, they don’t believe you.
Serpent: Enjoy yourself, no one will ever know. Only be careful… discrete, if you understand what I mean.
The Unfaithful: Sure, sure! Thanks pal!
King Saul and the Serpent
Serpent: You’re doing so well.
King Saul: You think so?
Serpent: Haba! I know so.
King Saul: O, wow, Thanks!
Serpent: Let the Hebrews hear.
King Saul: For real?
Serpent: Don’t play coy. Let the Hebrews hear!
King Saul: You mean it?
Serpent: You must blow your own trumpet, brother!
King Saul: Well said, well said!
King David and the Serpent
Serpent: Wow, look, there, is a beautiful woman!
King David: Where?
Serpent: Over there, look up! On the roof.
King David: Holy Jesse! I must have her. Guards! Go, get me that beautiful woman.
The good Man and the Serpent
Serpent: Hello, friend!
The good Man: Hello to you!
Serpent: What a beautiful day to paint the town red.
The good Man: Silence. (Silence is the best answer to a fool. I will not talk with him. I cannot exchange words with him and belittle myself).
Serpent: So, what are you doing tonight?
Good Man: Silence.
Serpent: Wouldn’t you like borrowing some of the cash in your hands to return it later, and just go out to enjoy yourself a little bit? All work and no play makes Jack…
Good Man: (Hisses and leaves without a word, not even get thee behind me, Satan).
Culled from Conversations with the Serpent by Lechi Eke, Tuesday, 31, May, 2022