Cheating in a relationship is when one is being deceitful and dishonest to one’s spouse and the marriage vow. Once you find out your spouse’s cheating act, it can lead to two major things, depending on how you both handle the situation. It could break your marriage or make your love stronger, depending on the strength of your love for each other.
When you cheat, this is simply interpreted as one not being fully satisfied with his/her current spouse or you feel there is something missing, or not right in your relationship. You might then ask yourself this question: “If my spouse and I seem completely in love and happy within our relationship, why is it then that my spouse is having an affair?” To answer this question, I refer to the issue of trust. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. When you are not able to trust your spouse, cheating habit may start.
Before you become too certain that your spouse is cheating on you, it is paramount to make a legit investigation. Start by looking for the obvious things such as a change in the way your partner dresses, a sudden desire to look good, a change in work patterns, an unusual interest in the gym, secrecy over phone calls or emails, a loss of intimacy in your marriage, lack of sexual interest or distance between you that never used to exist. In the worst case, you may spy him/her to get genuine evidence.
You may want to follow these important clues in finding out if your spouse if really cheating on you.
1. Changes in appearance and attitude: Placing unusual emphasis on his/her appearance.
2. Lessened intimacy: When your spouse becomes so physically and mentally distanced and clamed up when you try to discuss intimate things. Being cold with sudden loss of interest in doing anything with you.
3. Being secretive: When your spouse no longer shares his/her daily events with you. S/he avoids you because s/he feels guilty. In situation like this, I advise you don’t get paranoid and suspicious, but ask your spouse if everything is okay and inform him/her s/he’s been acting differently lately.
4. Disinterest in family and family activities: If yours is a family that eats together, for example, to find out your spouse is cheating on you, you will find out s/he gives every excuse not to be at the dining with you and the children. And when you try to bring up this issue of his/her disinterest in family, s/he becomes uncomfortable with the conversation.
5. Less arguing and fighting: When you starts to notice that your spouse is less concerned about certain things you do that makes him/her flare up at you, but now everything you do is all right by him/her. You may see this as a good thing; but truly, something is definitely up.
6. More phone and internet: When s/he starts to spend longer time on the phone than usual; using a low voice or whisper and hangs up quickly. Ask him/her if s/he is being true with you, and if s/he becomes accusatory, then it is obvious that s/he is cheating you.
7. Coming home late: When your spouse starts to come home much later than normal and the excuse is always: having to stay more at the office because s/he has a lot of work to do.
In general, cheating spouses often look and act guilty, give a feeling that something isn’t right. They try and avoid meaningful conversations, keep everything at a general and non-intimate level.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what state your marriage is in, and if you believe your partner is having an affair, now is the time to check it out and do a little investigation just to be sure. The investigation is not just to be done to point fingers, but to see the reason behind the whole fiasco, and both of you taking a bold step in making it right.
Your marriage has to work.