“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
A wall is a rampart raised for defensive purposes. But in relationship, we realise that some people have built up walls amongst themselves, either knowingly or unknowingly.
They become so far apart probably due to the fact that they have become too busy for their relationship, or have allowed many other things such as kids to replace their first love.
A relationship that is worth having, is worth fighting for. You need to do all it takes to win your relationship back and for the better.
With walls, one can’t seem to get ahead and move on, it is better to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall.
Here are pointers to follow in achieving such goal:
ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and don’t take everything too seriously. Doing these, there will be room for laughter amongst you and your spouse.
Turn on the Comedy Channel, watch funny videos or DVDs, invite your spouse to tune in to comedy with you. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your spouse.
FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.
RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.
TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for a while, like during your original courting days. Hire a maid to help out with chores, order out, eat at fast food places, and go for walks around the estate.
Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.
COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again.
If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to do it alone.
Find your weak areas and how to overcome them and plan for future communication difficulties.
GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list.
The idea is to have goals together and work towards a common goal.
SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, notes, and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to “hold on to” – your bridge to romance.
So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationship and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.