Alone, who are you?

Tinu Agbabiaka

Your “Alone Time” before you go into any relationship is very crucial. It is a time of introspection; to determine who you really are, habits you have that should not be heard of. It is a time to genuinely transform yourself into the person that is approachable, lovable, someone with character that is attractive to the type of person you aspire to be in a relationship with.

 

No one looks to get involved in relationships with people who lie, cheat or disrespect them. No one asks for verbal or physical abuse in a relationship. To avoid choosing or being chosen by someone with the characteristics listed above, it is therefore vital to prepare yourself to be the kind of person who will attract the relationship of your dreams. If you are seeking a person that will be loyal and will stand by you no matter what, then ask yourself the difficult question of whether or not you have those same traits and characteristics you seek. If there is something in your character that has caused you to be disloyal, then do some introspection to learn what you need to heal in order to become the person you truly want to be.

 

Other forms of relationship, such as relationship with your family and friends, can show you those things about yourself you don’t want to see. When we welcome the information and seek to learn from it, doing so will move us closer in the direction of becoming who we want to be.

 

It also helps during this “Alone Time” to take an inventory of the traits, qualities and characteristics you want in your “perfect mate” and ensure that you exhibit such traits. A lot of times, we are looking out for a king/queen to have a relationship with, but we are not royalty ourselves. The question is, if we do find the person with all the qualities we want, would the person be looking to connect with us? It is far more likely that we will attract the person we want when we become crystal clear about exactly what we are looking for. This list could include: having someone to love you for who you are, partner with loyalty, integrity, honesty, good looks, intelligence, a sense of humor, romance and availability (not involved with someone else).

 

In conclusion, I suggest you first allow yourself “Alone Time”. Don’t be in such a hurry to jump into relationships. Use the “Alone Time” to search introspectively to assess whether or not you are the person you need to be to allow the person you seek to come into your life.

 

And finally, do not focus on your lack of relationship, but on what you can do to help others during this time. A wisely used “Alone Time” can truly make an incredible difference in the way you experience your prospective relationship. Don’t shortchange yourself. Maximise and leverage the time you have been given between relationships. It is truly a gift.

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